Hello, my dear bloggedy blog-following friends! When you read this I’ll be winging my way west to work on a friend’s art installation at Coachella. Yes, through the wizardry of future-blogging, I’m writing this while watching Saturday Night Live. I want to say thank you and welcome to my new readers! Apparently if you put the word “penis” in a title, people cannot resist the CLICK!
Recently, along with search engine optimizing, stat counting and other obsessive-compulsive stuff like that, I’ve been consulting with my friends Jamye and Lynne about other ways to make people go CLICK! I know. I sound like a crazy person. That’s what happens when I sit on my couch and interact with my keyboard for days at a time! Anyway! The results of my very limited research says that people love contests! They love prizes! And I know that everyone loves porn! So I’m going to conduct a week-long contest and give away a Triple-XXX-errific Gift Basket to the winner just in time for Easter! Wouldn’t you rather dig through that plastic Easter grass and find lube and condoms than jellybeans? Wouldn’t a vibrator be way more fun than a chocolate bunny? And what about a bunch of porn? I’ll include as many DVDs as I can pack into the basket, including one from Ms. Waxman‘s Personal Touch series! Doesn’t that sound tastier than a trio of Peeps? No? Okay, I get it; everyone loves the Peeps. Tell ya what, I’ll put a pack o’ Peeps in there, too! I’m sure you can figure out something sexy to do with those sticky little marshmallow chicks!
So, you ask: what’s the contest? Well, I’ve been spilling my guts on here about being single, my less-than-erotic encounters and my online dating disasters. I wanna hear about your experiences. Tell me about your worst date, EVER! That’s right, a big ol’ basket of self-love will be sent to the winner of THE WORST DATE EVER CONTEST! All you need to do is click “comment” on the bottom of this blog post and spill your guts! Tell me and all my readers about the saddest, sickest, scariest date you’ve ever experienced. Feel free to comment on — and vote for — the stories you find hilariously horrible! In the end, I’ll be the judge, but it won’t hurt if your horror story inspires other readers to give your thumbs-down date a thumbs up! Now, delve into your darkest dating memories and tell me all about it!
WORST DATE EVER CONTEST RULES & DETAILS:
* The Worst Date Ever Contest runs from April 11 til April May 11. DEADLINE EXTENDED! I only had one person enter by April 18 and that isn’t a contest… So please spill your guts!
* To enter, post a comment to this blog post. Private entries will not be considered. If my pain and anguish is public, yours should be too!
* I will read the entries and decide on a winner. The winner will be announced on or before April 21. The winner will receive a gift basket filled with the following:
* A Slimline G. Rechargeable, Waterproof Vibrator by California Exotics
* A Screaming O Bong O Ring
* A DVD from Jamye Waxman‘s Personal Touch series
* A selection of at least five porn DVDs from my “personal” collection
* A handful of 5ml sample packs of Sliquid lubricant
* A package of Peeps
* And MORE secret surprises!