I haven’t been on a date since the guy who “wrote” “A Date with Abby.” Frankly, I haven’t had the stomach. OKCupid keeps sending me notices of who’s checking me out or who’s “chosen” me and they are all a horror. If all I can get are fat old Santas, fucking forget it. A friend has been using the dating sites for hookups and has a favorite young man. If you can believe it, he’s a pizza delivery guy. Yup, like right out of porn movie. He even showed up once to service her between deliveries, saying, “I have 10 minutes.” Uh, yeah. I think that may be what I need. An anonymous fuck who’ll “deliver.” Cause these doddering old men are doing nothing for my libido. NOTHING, I tell you!
Okay, had to get that off my (somewhat impressive) chest! Now I know I’m disappointing you all so if I can’t provide you with your usual dose of entertainment, I’ve found a few other folks who can. These people have subscribed to my blog most likely because they’re experiencing their own special form of dating hell. Fortunately, their hell is our hilarity!
Moths to a Flame is a posh single female in the big city. (I hope she doesn’t mind my referring to her that way! When you read the sort of guys she dates, I’m sure you’ll agree.) I really enjoyed “Fanny Pack” but read all her horror stories!
No need to say that Snarky Snatch is funny; anyone who’d title their blog Snarky Snatch has a great sense of humor. She’s probably also “chill” and “laid back.” (If you don’t get that lame reference to dating profile clichés you don’t deserve Ms. Snatch! But you should read her anyway!) For a quick guffaw, you’ll enjoy her “I Prefer My Obligation-Free Head to Come Unattached to a Crazy Person” (The post is shorter than the title!) but all her shit is hilarious.
You can read about bad dates from the male perspective at My Next Date. Somehow they aren’t quite as horrible but that’s probably because he’s being nice…ish. Check out “The Naked Truth,” his take on strip clubs as a dating destination.
My Twentysomething Sex Life makes me feel a bit better about miserable dates because, well, even twentysomethings are suffering! (Sorry.) Her advice for Men: How to Date Online has some valuable nuggets that mirror some of my own. But if you really want a chuckle, check out “Wanted: Big Fat Dildo.”
Okay. Well, there are a few to keep you busy until I get my shit together!