Category Archives: Uncategorized

April 2: Pandemic Edition

Welcome back, friends! It’s been three years since I’ve posted here. I’ve been mostly just using Facebook to spout my stories and opinions. Given that we’re in the midst of a global pandemic, I thought I’d use this platform again, since it’s a more searchable medium. With that, I give you April 2:
What’s on my mind? Oh. So, soooo much. I started my morning reading all those articles I just posted. Trying hard to digest enough info to keep me informed without costing me my sanity.
 
Yesterday I had a meltdown after I did laundry. I touched my clean clothes with my gloved hands. WERE THERE GERMS ON THOSE GLOVES? NOW MY CLOTHES AREN’T CLEAN. I had to get out of the house and walk around. A friend did a drive-by and gifted me a couple N95 masks. (MADE IN CHINA! ARE THERE GERMS?!?!) I saw Gareth and Rabbit and Keith and stood in the sunshine and had a beer on the sidewalk. (YES! We were six feet apart!) It made me feel SO MUCH better. Then I came home and got onto the Zoom Burning Man Happy Hour and when that was over I wound up on a really fun virtual meet-up with far-flung DPW friends. SO GREAT! So what started out as the worst day I’d had turned out to be the best. (The beers helped.)
 
I had also hit my Zoom wall the night before. I simply couldn’t face the process of sounding all chirpy and positive and scheduling another Virtual Lucky Happy Hour. And ya know what? No one even missed it. No one…NO ONE checked in on me. NO ONE emailed or texted or messaged or anything to see if there was going to be one…if I was okay. Now THAT was super depressing. (This is not a call for sympathy or attention or whatever, merely a statement of fact.) Yes, I wound up not depressed but it took seeing ACTUAL humans in the ACTUAL flesh. And it made all the difference in the world. So now my question is, should I even be bothering to do these damn Happy Hours? I dunno. They WERE keeping me sane (and the two last night SAVED me) but are they helping anyone else?
 
I am a social being. A VERY social being. I need human interaction more than food. More than sleep. Take a look at that accompanying photo. My March calendar? And my April calendar? We are all staring down the barrel of an empty, human interaction-less future. Who knows for how long? It is causing me near-insurmountable distress. So I’m back online, foisting yet another virtual Happy Hour on you. Stay healthy, friends. And stay sane.
Calendars

Jewels of Wizdom Perks

Jewels of Wizdom by Karey Nation
Karey’s necklaces are chunky and sparkly and beautiful! Check out more of his wares on his Facebook artist’s page.
To buy one of these and contribute, click here. This/these are still available!

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1. Teals & Teardrop Pendant

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2. Purples, Blues & Peace Sign

 

Maternal Mortality Anxieties

A few days ago I went to Lady Mendl’s for High Tea. It was a celebration of a friend’s mother, who passed away five years ago, and a new-ish tradition. My friend gets depressed every year at this time; not only is it the anniversary of her mother’s death, she died the day after birthday: a double whammy. Remembering life. Remembering death. When we first became close friends, I suggested that instead of dreading these two days, why not celebrate her mother’s life? What did her mother enjoy? We decided on a trip to the Met and High Tea and we’ve been celebrating with tea ever since.

On the anniversary of her mother’s death, she posted photos of candles on Facebook with an homage. That same day, I was struck by how many other friends were posting similar images: their mothers as young women, heartfelt sentiments about parents who had passed, the marking of anniversaries of both births and deaths. Social media provides us with the proverbial bully pulpit, something ordinary people haven’t had in the past: an opportunity to broadcast our innermost thoughts to dozens — or thousands. These postings raised my current level of anxiety a few notches. My mother is 79. She obviously isn’t going to live forever.

10521173_10152767506041004_90295807251692475_nMy mom isn’t infirm. She’s in fairly good health and, for her age, pretty active. She plays competitive bridge every day. This past August she even joined me out in the desert for 48 hours of Burning Man! But one day she won’t be here. I can grasp this in the abstract; children are supposed to outlive their parents. But the actual fact? It’s too awful to even think about.

I talk to my mom often. Not every day, but almost. I call her when I get a really good bargain at a thrift store or flea market, every time Wheel of Fortune is particularly exciting or when I experience one of life’s little victories. Mind you, I don’t share any of my defeats. Joan doesn’t do sad. Crying pisses her off, no doubt because it makes her feel helpless, a feeling she doesn’t like one bit. She also doesn’t do sick. Which is probably one of the reasons I’m so healthy: it just isn’t in the family script to be ill. My mom has survived three different cancers — THREE! — and each time it was like she had a hangnail.

Somewhere out there, perhaps cancer number four is looming. Or merely old age. Whatever it is I hope it isn’t protracted. I’ve been enlisted as chief plug-puller. Ack. I can’t imagine not being able to pick up the phone and call her. There isn’t anyone else I call just to say hello. I don’t even want to think about saying goodbye.

Another Published Piece!

My third piece is up on Gasm.org: Torn

TMI WARNING!

In Abby-sentia

It’s been ages since I last posted. (Long enough for WordPress to change their interface!) I’ve been mostly busy working with my hands, as opposed to my mind, and in a sort of creative overdrive: hats and tiaras and waxwork to become jewelry, eventually. I’ve been on a few dates, which I’m hoping to blog about as well as other reasons I’ve been distracted and…deterred.  (Not the least of which was three seasons of Downton Abbey, which I devoured.)

February is consistently a difficult month for me. Whether single or coupled, Valentine’s Day is an irritant — or more accurately, its aftermath. Picking up half-off heart candies and gobbling them down by the bag full probably doesn’t help matters. But this is the time when winter seems to draaaaaag on and we hit the “burnal equinox,” or mid-point in the year between burns. I find myself yearning for more open space, warmer weather, a change of scenery in general. Though this year I have been so engrossed with projects that it isn’t as intense as it usually is.

Fortunately February is over and March is the beginning of the end of winter. There are fun parties and colorful holidays right around the corner and I’ve been marshaling my ensembles. I’ve also been despairing my overstuffed closets; it really is time for some serious purging. I admire those people who own, like, one pair of pants. How do they do it? Shopping has always been a sport, of sorts, in my family so spending money on things I don’t need is in my blood. Sometimes I wish there were a cure…

This damn millinery class is threatening to bankrupt me! I’ve spent more on supplies than the class itself cost, which was a lot! Mind you, I’m enjoying it, but, whoa, this is not a cheap hobby! Hopefully someone will buy one or two of my chapeaux and assist with the subsidizing.

Anyway, I was feeling guilty about being absent so here I am, still crafting away. I promise to post more soon!