Monthly Archives: May 2020

May 30

Don’tcha just wish you were so blissfully stupid that you’re excited for the future? Happy to see Dumpf on the TV and think MY PREZ!!! That you were one of those people waist-deep in pissed-in pool water at Lake of the Ozarks, drinking a Natty Lite and toasting “Murika?” Or that you actually believe that this virus is a hoax? No worse than the flu? Try as I might, I haven’t managed to kill enough brain cells to become that dumb. If not striving for a lower IQ, I’d shoot for time-travel. I would like to fast-forward to June 1, 2021. I want to walk over to the bar, pull up the gate and prepare for a sunny Saturday of bustling business. Sadly, it’s probably more plausible to become stupid.
Let’s do our best to have a somewhat sane Saturday.

May 29

Uuuuuuggghhhh….the birthday celebrations continued yesterday, with a delicious pastrami sandwich from Katz’s, devoured on a bench in the middle of Houston Street. It was very crisis, what crisis… From there our afternoon devolved into an American dream in the midst of a nightmare, driving the almost-empty streets of Manhattan and then, after dark, traveling over multiple bridges. All the while not knowing what was happening in Minneapolis or Union Square. Every day, we say to each other, “Well, it cannot possibly get any worse!” And yet, every day, it actually DOES get worse. It’s very difficult to process. The world is a shitstorm…

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May 28

Whoa…while I was out celebrating my birthday, the world was on fire. Not that that’s anything new. The news is nothing but distressing, alarming and depressing shit. And that’s beyond the virus.
I had a lovely day, thanks to friends near and far. I truly felt ALL the love. I am so, so LUCKY!
I never took a selfie but you can be assured I was rocking THE birthday accessories! (See photo. Tiara from Pinky a few years back and birthday mask created by Jennifer-jo.)
I don’t have any uplifting words today. I just want to get back to work…and I despair for the future of this fucking country. Sigh…
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May 27

Happy Birthday TO MEEEE! I feel SO fortunate to have friends like all of YOU! Sunday was a spectacular celebration! And never in my life have I felt less annoyed with people who didn’t show up to MY PARTY! If ever there was a perfect excuse to stay home, saving your own damn life is a GREAT one! Bwahahaha! But seriously. Sunday was so much fun. Today, I know, will be more low-key and I am FINE with that! It will be phone calls and texts and fielding the greetings here on the book of faces, which is at its VERY best on one’s birthday!

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I have some plans to meet friends, one-on-one, today and, of course, there will be more spontaneous celebrating as I stroll through the East Village and pop by Maiden Lane. I’m trying to decide if I should “support a local business” by buying my own birthday cake at Veneiro’s? Umm…I may have to make it down to Stanton Street to support San Loco and get myself a margarita. And where, of all my favorite food places, should I pick up dinner? Pho #1 from Sunny & Annie’s? Life-changing salad from Remedy Diner? More Yuca Bar? Mexican from Fonda? Or something melty from Barnyard? The mere fact that I have ALL these options is wonderful! I cannot wait till I can sit safely inside and spend money to make sure they are all here a year from now!

This is most definitely the weirdest birthday ever, happening in the strangest days any of us have ever experienced. We’ve been seeing both the best and the worst in our fellow human beings. It’s like we’re being presented with a “sorting hat” situation that will identify who to align ourselves with. I’ve despaired about not being one of the mask makers. But we all give what we can. MUCH LOVE to you all! THANK YOU!

If you’d like to do the “safely celebrating” thing with me today, I’ll be zooming from 6 till 9 with the weekly Burning Man Happy Hour. I KNOW I said I wasn’t gonna but I’d love to see all your smiling faces! Here’s the info:

Join Zoom Meeting
https://zoom.us/j/896327497…

Meeting ID: 896 327 497
Password: 027116

May 26

Yesterday I treated myself to a to-go brunch from one of my favorite restaurants, Yuca Bar, which recently reopened. There were a lot of folks eager for mojitos; I opted for food, no booze. While I waited for my breakfast burrito, I grabbed the first iced coffee of the season from Ray’s. There was a cute little old Polish lady — sans mask — getting coffee while I was in there and when I slipped a $5 into the tip jar, she looked up at me and said, “Ooh, you rich!” I actually felt rich! And quite fortunate that I can easily support local businesses.
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Later in the afternoon I went for a walk. I’d say that about half the people I encountered weren’t wearing masks. Just an empirical observation. I’ve been struggling not to judge. I also saw a LOT of parties and gatherings in the park spaces along the river. Dancing and BBQing and a children’s birthday. I’ll admit it caused me some fleeting discomfort (It was the people seated across from each other at tables that were the most concerning, which causes me to think that indoor restaurant dining may seem most scary.) but I’m sure spectators were equally uncomfortable and judgmental seeing my Sunday celebrations. Joy is essential. The number of people who were completely disregarding the pointless open container law confirms, for me, that our politicians really need to let people LEGALLY enjoy their adult beverages al fresco! Outdoors is safer!
 
It was by far the loneliest Memorial Day I’ve ever had. I would’ve been down in Princeton for Reunions this past weekend (my sister’s 35th) and enjoying extended birthday celebrations. Sunday was SO much fun that yesterday was a definite come-down. And I’m trying not to set myself up for too much disappointment tomorrow, when the partying will be primarily online. Thank you for all the pre-birthday wishes! I’ve definitely been feeling the love! MWAH!

May 25

If you’ve been looking at my photos from yesterday, you know what a colorful bunch of friends I have! And what a wonderful celebration we enjoyed! It was so great to see all those smiling faces, including the many that were behind masks!

We weren’t the only people enjoying the lush lawn in the park. Around 4:30, the cops came and cleared us all off, saying the lawn was closed. Yes, it’s technically been “closed” the whole time, with the gates padlocked. But those locks proved hardly a deterrent. The lawn has been filled with people every sunny day. We were curious if there was some reason it took till THAT afternoon at THAT moment, such as a specific metric. Like, 80 people was okay but 81 wasn’t? Anyway, we enjoyed it all while it lasted and then we decamped to “the Lucky steps.”

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Today is the well-earned hangover, with a new facet to the pounding afterglow: guilt. It’s sort of the way you feel when doing the walk of shame. Some guilt, yes, but also a smidge of victory. A “Yeah, I did that!” leavened with “I hope I don’t suffer any negative effects…” I’m actually experiencing a couple different hangovers: fun, booze, guilt and SUGAR. I ate way too many lard sugar balls (POPE-UMS!), cake pops AND a cupcake. I think I need something nutritious!

Digging a little deeper beyond my hangover, I felt very…unusual…this morning. While going through my daily rituals — teeth brushing and mocha making — I felt off. Not ill, just…weird. Like there was a tear in my space-time continuum. It felt like 10am AND 10pm. And yesterday. Or next week. Maybe it was reading Michael Tee‘s time-traveling posts about the 20th anniversary of Motherfucker. It’s difficult to believe that was a full 20 years ago! And I felt like I was myself 20/10/5 years ago as well as 5/10 years from now yet strangely NOT myself in the here and now. As though I’m living in a movie or something. Everything feels so self-referential. When have we been so collectively COGNIZANT of our every action? So painfully aware of EVERY SECOND? I dunno. It made me think of “the new normal,” a phrase I have already come to DETEST. But here I am, NOW, in MY new normal. Yesterday’s celebration was, still and indeed, a celebration. But one that took place within the parameters of our “new normal.” Where we (meaning I but, yes, we) weigh every move we make against our own morals, ethics and mortality. I may hate it today but I’m sure in time I’ll be used to it.

Lastly, I’m listening to our governor and it has become nothing more than background noise. There isn’t much new information. And I definitely do NOT need to hear him repeat his incantations about the federal government or NY’s statistics. The current state of “politics” in this country are painful to witness. It’s time to focus on the hyper-local…Have a wonderful Memorial Day, my friends! I miss you!

May 24

Greetings, friends!
I have a birthday coming up and the thought of celebrating in a fucking Zoom “party” is enough to make me lose my mind. So today I will be stationed in Tompkins Square Park for a few hours. Come by and say hi! Bring a blanket and safely socialize from whatever distance you choose! Bring a beverage, a picnic, a hazmat suit? I dunno. I’m muddling through this the same as the rest of you! I’ve found that human interaction that doesn’t involve the internet is IMMENSELY beneficial to my psychological well-being.
I’ll be there from 1:00pm on, likely sticking around till at least 5:00pm, probably longer. I’ll have my phone on me if you wanna text or Facebook message or send a drone!
I know that there are a few of you on here who won’t want to venture out! I’m inviting you anyway just so you don’t feel neglected!
MWAH! Oops! I mean “air-hug.”
Sigh….
At 5:00, you can be SUPER safe and join Sandy and Joe for their weekly Virtual Lucky Happy Hour! I’ll post the log in info here soon! I hope to see you, either virtually or in person! Have a lovely Sunday!!

Meeting ID: 826 7120 2055
Password: 661133

 

May 23

I can’t overstate the level of disappointment I experienced when I got my antibody test results: Negative. I was soooo hoping I’d been exposed to the virus. I’m not sure how — or if — it will alter my behavior. I’m edging closer to the “fuck it” threshold, experiencing a more fatalistic viewpoint with every passing hour. If we’ve managed to flatten the curve and there’s no vaccine in the foreseeable future, we must learn to navigate the world with the virus looming.
 
When a friend posted about the “Take out, don’t hang out” ummmm, suggestion (I mean, is it a law? Is anything?) recently, one person responded, “What happened to ‘stay at home’?!
I, for one will not put a dollar into the economy (except groceries) until it is safe to do so again—i.e. sans mask and w/o social distancing. The ONLY language NYC understands is $$$ so speak with your wallets, kids. Me? I’ll see you 2021. Maybe.” In my opinion, this is a fairly extreme stance. We cannot remain locked up inside our apartments for a full year. Completely aside from the threat of economic collapse, the populace simply won’t tolerate these limits until a vaccination becomes available. (And don’t get me started on the people who are already refusing to GET said vaccine, believing that Bill Gates is going to inject them with a microchip or whatever. OY!) Yes, I know, Anne Frank hid away for ages. But this virus cannot be likened to gas chambers. It is a danger and, quite possibly, a lethal one. But it isn’t a 100% death sentence for everyone. No, I don’t want to catch it, especially given we have NO idea what the long-term effects will be. But I also don’t want to sit on this couch for…well, for even another week, frankly. I may not be able to go back to work for months and months so I’d at least like to be able to do more than take hour-long walks every day.
 
Anyway, I don’t know about YOUR brain but MINE is in a constant struggle to weigh all the unknowns and the dangers, try and rationalize what I realize is irrational and foolish behavior, and, you know, how to balance the distressing news and blizzard of information with my struggle to not become completely hopeless. It is fucking exhausting!
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Photo of pretty flowers because, uh, pretty flowers? Love, hope and sanity to you on this rainy Saturday!

May 22

How was my adventure yesterday, you ask? In a word: EPIC. This adventure would’ve been epic, for me, under normal circumstances, since once I get off the grid of Manhattan, I might as well be on Mars! Pull up a chair!

If you know me, all my most hilarious tales begin with, “All I’d eaten was yogurt!” In hindsight,that probably wasn’t the smartest, given that I was having blood drawn. Oh well…

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Jill accompanied me on my walk up First Ave. to the 34th Street ferry dock and we said goodbye before I boarded. It was the MOST beautiful day! Blue sky, brilliant sun, heavenly breeze, no humidity! The ferry ride was brief but wonderful. Suzanne met me on the LIC dock and we started what felt like a REALLY long walk to the testing site. (Word to those who’d prefer not to wear masks: Go for your walks in Queens! There were hardly ANY people! And hardly any open businesses, meaning fewer places to grab a Gatorade, so….) Anyway! We were speedy, ’cause I arrived a half-hour early. They let me in, though, saying there wasn’t a line and I was in and out in 10 minutes! The mostly empty, cavernous space had about a dozen stations with teams of two to take your blood. They were swift and efficient. I was bummed we didn’t get cookies and juice afterward…

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On our walk back, we found an open restaurant, of sorts, and got ourselves smoothies! We sat outside in the sun and almost felt like normal people! When we got back down near the water, we decided to walk to Greenpoint. I’d never been over the Pulaski Bridge. It was pretty! At Suzanne’s suggestion, we got ourselves a couple GIANT Hurricanes at Magazine and went over to Transmitter Park.

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What a splendid idea! It was bustling with people but not crazy crowded. We sat there enjoying our frozen boozy deliciousness, basking in the afternoon sun, and reveled in feeling like actual humans!

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We grabbed the 6:15 ferry so Suzanne could pick up her bike from LIC and I could trundle back downtown. I caught the last little bit of Pinky’s Happy Hour, popped into Judy Sky‘s birthday Zoom and then wound up chatting up just a few of my favorite ladies. All in all, a truly spectacular day! And I covered over 7 miles! Today, I may rest! And tomorrow looks like rain. I’ll be celebrating my birthday on Sunday in Tompkins Square Park. Check in Sunday morning for the details! Have a great Friday!

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May 21

Yesterday was GAAAAALORIOUS! It was a stunning spring day. I took a nice long walk by the river, chattering to my mom the entire time. I did my “indoor exercises.” I put on HARD PANTS! (And, yes, managed to zip them up.) I made a trip to the drug store, which was surprisingly not stressful. (Well, their plexi shields were a bit…offputting, as were the piled plastic crates designed to keep customers from, I dunno, I guess pressing their faces against the plexi?) I met friends for a couple cocktails, hanging out on a tailgate, since someone else had commandeered “the Lucky steps.” And before heading home, I capped off the afternoon with a delicious Mexican Cuban sammich from Barnyard! The city definitely feels like it’s stirring a smidge from its slumber.
 
What does today hold in store? Well, I’ve scheduled myself for an antibody test in Long Island City. (It’s the closest of all the locations.) Getting there should be an adventure involving a sunny ferry ride. If that turns out to be fun, I may make other waterborne plans. Seems safer than going subterranean…
 
We’ve got a holiday weekend coming up. And I have a birthday coming up as well! Our Mayor is telling us we’re allowed to have safely social gatherings of 10 people or less so stay tuned for info about a celebration, if you’re up for that sort of thing. It will be a double birthday, sharing the festivities with Ron Herczig. Hopefully you can stop by the park for an hour!
 
And tonight is Pinky’s weekly Virtual Lucky Happy Hour! Stop in and say hello sometime between 6 and 8.
Meeting ID: 829 7474 9972
Password: 030313
We’d love to see you!
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