Bloody Mary Research & KTHXBI OKC

I had a date the other night. It was pretty great. He was tall, handsome, funny and interesting. I’d like to see him again.

Natasha and I spent yesterday afternoon doing Bloody Mary research. We started at Vasac’s aka Horseshoe Bar. They were $11, a bit too spicy and came with celery, lemon, lime and a pickle slice. We had to tolerate a dozen different football games on a dozen different flat-screen TVs and a bar full of people there to watch the sports ball. Next was Manitoba’s, where the price was $11 again. I think the bartender forgot to add the hot sauce because they were a little bland. She put a bit of Clamato in and I almost fell off my barstool. What if I hadn’t been paying attention and had a shellfish allergy? Anaphylactic shock alert! It was too thin; I prefer my bloodies to be more substantial. But she was very accommodating and gave us the ingredients to add “to taste,” including celery. The only garnish was a lemon wedge. (“This ain’t the Ritz,” she said. True enough!) Two pretty normal-sized TVs were showing the Jets vs Giants game and only one dude seemed actually interested in watching. From there we stumbled downtown to Mama’s, where there was a huge pull-down screen showing the Jets/Giants game. The price there was $8 and the drinks were delicious: thicker, spicy but not too spicy and garnished with celery, lemon and lime. Last we bumbled to Double Down. Natasha is a fan of the bacon vodka but I prefer the regular. Jenn served up our drinks at $11 each but it was happy hour so we got a second one free. By then we’d had enough bloodies and opted for beers. And need I say that there was no sports ball on in the bar? Take away: You can charge $11-$12 for a Bloody Mary on Avenue B! Asking the bartenders, and googling the drink, one should not order one after the sun goes down. And four of them — even spaced out over a couple of hours — is too many! Urp. I was passed out by 8pm!

Oh. And one last “negative” post about OKCupid. I think it may be time to quit online dating. It’s been five years and I haven’t had much success. Instead of wasting time making fun of those guys I need to channel my energy into the new business. Which sorta ties in with this weird exchange. It’s a long one but I want to know: Is this guy some sort of schizophrenic? (Scroll all the way to the bottom for the weirdest part of it all…’cause most of it is pretty dull. Just odd and dull. I don’t know why I kept trying to “salvage” the conversation. Sigh.)
Just a wild guess , American Trash no not my opinion of you silly, where the first photo of you behind the bar was taken

Nope. Double Down.

LOL was I close ?


That and in regards to atmosphere
I applaud your self confidence as well as your sense of humor
3 of the utmost of admirable traits

I think I’ve only been to American Trash once. But if dive bar is the atmosphere, then yes!

Hey , don’t ever knock dive bars to me

My favorite.

They are as American ( really they began in England) as Apple pie
I lived in CBGBs
great gildersleeves
Mudd club

And now? Baldwin? [He lives in Baldwin, NY.]

Palladium. Ritz
Academy. Bottom
Line,Rosalind , Bonds
LOL now your knocking
So you are in Alphabet City
“Shut up and drink ” LOL

Not knocking anyplace. Just wondering.

That was joke , your a New Yorker and a bar keep I am sure you did not think I was serious
I am John
it’s my pleasure to type to you

Oh, sorry. It is difficult to discern humor via email…
I’m Abby
And not a barkeep quite yet.
It’s my next career.

Please tell me you are not currently at work

Now? No.

OK I hope I am not interrupting you ??

Only sorta. I’m at a friend’s.

Fuck me , Please forgive me
Go pretend to be enthralled with their presence
LOL “If your in the crown tonight, have a drink on me, Go easy , step lightly , and stay free” !!!!
Talk to you later

Uh, okay! Lemme know if you’d like to meet for a drink!

Meet , I full expect you to buy me back at least one
So you are not tending bar at Double Down , where would one find you ?

I’m buying my own bar. I can let you know when that happens. But if you’d like to meet sooner, we can pick a place!

Wait , are you seriously contemplating investing your life in a bar ?
I have bar owning in my DNA going back 6 generations

Yes. It will be by New Year’s Day.
What? Really? Wow!

OK the first thing I will tell you, in hopes you at the very least consider my suggestions, and to earn your trust


I can promise you that no one in your family or anyone very close to you has ever own their own business , least of all a bar in Manhattan

If you’re gonna try and talk me out of it, please don’t.
You’re right. No one in my family has ever owned a bar business.

OK If you just look at what you just sent me !!! You need to immediately I mean from this second on , change everything you have ever thought or know. My first example of this is how you reacted to what I said to you. Your mind was made up that I was going to attempt to talk you out of it, which in fact IS THE DIRECT OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WAS GOING TO DO

Oh.Ok. Can we meet in person and talk? Cause this is really not the best way to communicate.

I honestly prefer to talk here first, because I have a very long list of those I have helped and continue to help and to be honest my time is limited I very much would love nothing more than for you to not only obtain your bar but to see you prosper

Well, thank you. I’m pretty far along in the process. And bar or no bar, if you aren’t interested in meeting, mum, why bother? I know a lot of people who own bars and have been interviewing them for years… Not to be rude or dismissive but, again, this is an imperfect mode of communication. Especially with a stranger. No nuance. Happy to speak on the phone (which I’m usually reluctant to do prior to meeting) if you’d like. Just not right this minute.

I said earlier , I fully expected to meet. Did you not get my message ? That aside , I am sure you are well past the due diligence stage, you have received all the documents in regards to any liens and back taxes, you have formed a LLC and you have the Liquor Authority’s assurance as to the prior business establishment’s owner and his outstanding bills

And yes, I saw that you did want to meet. And I think this conversation would be easier (and not while I’m with friends) when we meet in person.

If you admit that you saw that I wanted to meet you , which you just did, why would you say this ? And bar or no bar, if you aren’t interested in meeting, mum, why bother? I am curious why you would completely contradict yourself in what you obviously see is from my point of view , perplexing at the very least ?

I’m sorry. I’m watching a movie AND talking with my friends. Which is why I suggested we talk at another time.
You said your time is limited. I took that as a brush off.
Anyway, another time?

another time

Hey John! When would you like to meet up? I’m free on Thursday.
So? Did you lose interest? No worries, if so. Just wanted to hear your bar advice. Going to see the space I’ve pretty much decided on tonight. Wheeeeee!

Let me know how it goes !
Best of luck to you

Thank you for the polite brush off. Best of luck to you as well.

LOL WOW , I am never wrong when I want to be, and this is one of the times I want so badly to be wrong
You have an enormous amount of baggage , far too much to carry if you intend to start , run and expand a profitable business

What baggage? How do you know? We’ve never even met. Or spoken. Wow. Nice job ruling me out without even a conversation.

LOL You just proved my point !!! I never at any time ruled you out
I don’t need anything more than a photo of your face to know you

You said I have too much baggage to run a business. I took that to mean “ruled me out” as a successful business. And saying you only need a photo of my face to know me is the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard.
You can stop email me now. Because I’m blocking you.

24 responses to “Bloody Mary Research & KTHXBI OKC

  1. Please keep dating. I really enjoy your rants. It’s nice to see a females point of view in the dating world. One question-in the last few posts you have posted pictures of those hovering around 50% compatibility rate. Are these the only ones contacting you? Do you ever make the first contact? Are these the easiest verbal sparring partners?

    As for your last conversation, I think this guy was a control freak. When you stated you were going ahead with your venture and rebuffed his “expertise,” his attitude changed. “Baggage” was a cop out.

    • Are these the only men contacting me? No, there are others. Do I ever make the first contact? Yes, often. Are these men the easiest sparring partners? No one is really “easy.” These men are just the ones who prove themselves to be all wrong for me the quickest. And, hopefully, the funniest!

  2. so you’ll surrender vast amounts of money, sweat, hours, a social life, sleep, your health.

    you’ll deal with city regulations, inspections, red tape, puke, personnel, insurance, rent, bank loans, the economy, personal safety, professional safety, aggravation….

    since you find discouraging words anathema, and since, as you’ve indicated, you’re not going to be talked out of purchasing a bar, describe, abby, what “success” looks like:

    • You haven’t answered any of MY questions, Laura, but you’re quick to ask them! Do you think I should be talked out of pursuing my dream? And if so, why? Success looks like: running a profitable business. Far easier than finding love, I am pretty damn sure!

      • i wouldn’t dream of talking you out of your dream; it’s not my place. however, i’m simply asking you questions that i hope you’ve asked yourself. as with all decisions, there are trade-offs. i’ve posed the points above if only because of your “Fuck Time Warner” post. multiply that experience by 100 and then you’re in [the bar] business. and try getting a plumber, or electrician, at 7pm on a sunday night.

        as for the personal stuff, what you write on facebook differs from what you write here. if your FB friends thank you (there, on facebook) that’s all you need for a composition well written and appreciated. but by your own admission you get minimal acknowledgement on your wordpress blog, which was what i was responding too.

        as for the ok cupid interactions, why get pissed off at the dumb-ass comments men make about your pictures? don’t you do the same —either in your head or in your blog—about them?

        these conversations (or at least the ones you re-post) ALL take a turn for the worse….and then you take your metaphorical bat and ball, leave, and block them. people are jerks—men and women. indeed you needn’t pursue a conversation that’s going nowhere, but it appears that your communiques are very black and white. where is the latitude one gives, where is consideration that should be considered for not understanding another’s “voice” in a cyber message?

        what comes across, or so it seems, is that you need to be right, and you need to win.

      • I think I tried pretty hard to understand that last guy, no? He’s handsome and tall and I sincerely wanted to meet him. He just kept switching gears. As for expecting problems, I’m sure there will be plenty. And I’m looking forward to them! I can’t wait! I guess I’m more three dimensional in real life. As I hope you are as well!

      • Bar-onomics
        So you want to open a bar, huh? A profitable bar? New York Magazine (in 2009) asked four experts to run the numbers on a make- believe, 1,000-square-foot neighborhood pub in the East Village.

        Start-Up Costs
        Rent for six months while waiting on a liquor license: $49,800 (assuming $8,300 a month)
        Liquor license and fees: $9,000
        Equipment, construction, and demolition: $60,000
        Signage: $1,000
        Décor and glassware: $21,000
        Training for six employees: $858
        Initial liquor order: $6,000 (45 percent on beer, 40 percent on liquor, 5 percent on wine, 10 percent on mixers)
        Sound system: $1,000
        Emergency funds: $50,000
        Misc.: $2,000
        TOTAL . . . . . . . $200,658

        Ongoing Monthly Costs
        Rent: $8,300
        Booze: $10,000
        Insurance: $500
        Misc.: $1,900
        Staff pay: $1,720 (assuming 100 hours a week at $4.30 an hour)
        Utilities: $1,320
        Taxes and fees: $1,000
        TOTAL . . . . . . . . $24,740

        The Markups
        Draft beer: $3.59 a pint
        Bottled beer: $3.85 a bottle
        Well liquor: $4.65 a pour
        Top-shelf liquor: $3.35 a pour
        Wine: $3.48 a glass

        Break-Even Point
        Amount you’d have to gross in 18 months before you start turning a profit: $645,978 (monthly expenses of $24,740 for 18 months, or $445,320, plus start-up costs of $200,658)
        Number of customers required per night to reach $645,978 in 18 months (assuming $5 per average drink and 1.5 drinks per person): 160

      • Wow. Do you think I haven’t done all this homework? Or are you offering me some help? I know what my rent will be. I’ve hired the trash removal company. Oh and I’ll have $100k in emergency funds in the bank, after all those expenses. But thank you!

    • You’ve just described EVERY small business in the US. If one faces those obstacles and should just give up and not attempt to be a success, there would be no medical or educational professionals.

  3. indeed there was a misunderstanding, somewhere, between you and mr. handsome. you wanted to meet; he determined, (by reading your face? by reading your responses?), you had baggage. (that baffled me as well.)

    but i have to believe you too have been turned off by a word or a sentence, that someone has written in their profiles–or messages to you. something you might have shrugged off if you heard it in person. you’ve done the cupid thing for 5 years, so you say. why, for heaven’s sake, get mad?!

    • I never get mad! I think it’s all hilarious! I’ve actually read some of these as stand-up routines! I get a kick out of it all or I wouldn’t keep doing it. It doesn’t upset me.

      • perhaps that is MY misunderstanding! you sound VERY angry (in your posts), you sound very mad! (with time warner and others). if you found it all so hilarious, why wouldn’t you continue the conversations for more hilarity….and perhaps actually meeting mr. handsome?

        blocking the someones with the frequency that you do (i only know from what you post) is hardly an act of trying to “get” someone else.

        look, it’s not all your fault, but the pattern is remarkable. do you, abby, ever re-read your posts and see how you interact with these guys? what you see as “hilarity”, others, impartial, non-involved and with no dog-in-the-fight (but amused at the writing and continuous bad behavior) can only marvel at why you bother. over and over again.

        i do wonder if what they say about bar ownership is the same as what they say about boat ownership: the happiest days are when you buy your first boat….and then sell it.

  4. i am trying to be helpful.

    i have every reason to believe youve done your homework; i have every reason to believe you know what you’re doing.

    my comments here–regarding matters of the heart, business, how one comports oneself–are suggested (yes! suggested) because, like so many others, i’m rooting for you. indeed there may be better, more “tactful” ways to accomplish this, but i prefer the direct approach. a bitter pill? perhaps, but composed with your best interests in mind whether you see it (them) or not.

  5. So….what type of bar are you opening? Themed? A certain clientele? Light finger food? Starting your own business always sounds exciting!

  6. Hey Jeffrey,
    (Or is it Jeff?)
    Do you feel comfortable emailing me privately? I have a quick question for you.

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