Monthly Archives: December 2015

Good Riddance, 2015

My 2015 started with a close friend in the hospital. In intensive care. He died early in January and the whole year has been tinged with that horror and sorrow and grief. He was only the first. There have since been two deaths by suicide, two deaths by cancer and two deaths that could be attributed to ill health.

I’m sure there will be death in 2016. Just as there will be hardship, tough times and lessons to be learned. I’m entering into the scariest — and most responsible — year of my life and I’ve never felt so ready to be challenged.

I want to wish everyone a safe and smooth segue from this year to the next and a joyous, prosperous and wonderful 2016. Aw hell, I’m just gonna quote Neil Gaiman, who put is so eloquently:

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”

Cheers to 2016!

Happy Almost End of the Year

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, whatever you celebrated! I was in Paris with my family. Not as amazing as it sounds…since it was quite a bit of togetherness and absolutely zero time to myself. But…it was Paris! So it was beautiful. And unseasonably warm. And free!

Now that I’m back in NYC, I’m poised to sign the paperwork to buy the bar. Last night was the one-year fall-aversary that set this whole thing into motion. A few days into 2016 will be one year since he died. And the only bright spot is this bar. Because his death lit a fire under my ass that should’ve been blazing a long, long time ago.

Once things start moving, they’re gonna move quickly. At least I hope they do! I’ll be taking a bartending course. Yes, to learn how to make drinks that I will then refuse to make people. Guffaw. But also to better educate myself in general. I will continue to interview my bar owning and bar managing and bartending friends. And I will be decorating and buying and ordering and inventing. It is going to be grueling and scary and exciting and I can’t wait! It will also mean that I’ll be super busy, too busy to bother with online dating. I’ll probably keep my Tinder account because it’s silly. And can offer opportunities to invite people to the bar. But OKCupid? It’s gonna have to go. For posterity, I’m posting my current profile. It’s about as big a turn-off as it’s possible to be with an online profile. But, well, there ya have it.

So stay tuned for more news about the bar. And here is who I was on OKCupid:

NEW EDIT
Okay. I’m gonna try this one more time. As I’ve written below, chemistry is elusive. I am only interested in meeting in social situations. No dates. I’m over it. Small talk? Hate it. Dates are like job interviews. They’re boring. Do NOT mistake this as me being “fearful.” Far from it. The only thing I’m afraid of is being bored. I suppose you all think you’re riveting. Maybe you are. And IF you are, hanging out with me in a bar will only showcase your ability to intrigue. I go to a weekly happy hour where new people and out of towners are the usual. It happens in different bars (and different neighborhoods) every week. If the prospect of meeting a FEW new people, as well as me, sounds horrible to you, we probably wouldn’t be a good match. Perhaps you won’t find ME riveting. Then you’ll have a bunch of other people to meet who might be. If you have something similar to offer me, I would be super game! Anyway…now that I’ve alienated every man in America…read on if you’re the one who I haven’t offended…
END NEW EDIT

Please be open to MEETING and the possibility of being FRIENDS. Finding that elusive “chemistry” is rare. But I can honestly say that every man I’ve “befriended” on this site now has a far more exciting and interesting life than he did before meeting me. If you don’t believe that, I’d be happy to connect you for an honest conversation. Who doesn’t want to expand their social circle? The chances of finding romance online aren’t the best. Meeting new people will always result in meeting MORE new people. Meaning, if you and I don’t “click” perhaps you might with a friend of mine. Or I will with a friend of yours. It’s a big world. If that sounds appealing to you, please read on!

A very close friend died this year and it has made me reevaluate. I am not desperate, just determined. If you can’t meet up within a week of us contacting each other, please don’t bother. Life is too fucking short. I’m tired of this site and I’ve never been a fan of dating.

So there you have it. Let’s meet, figure out if we want to fuck each other and take it from there, shall we? Seriously. That’s about all it boils down to.

It doesn’t matter a damn what music you like or what you read. You’ll be on your side of the bed reading what you read and I’ll be on my side of the bed reading what I read. I’ll listen to whatever the hell you want to listen to. Food? Whatever. It’s sustenance, not an art form. For me, anyway. Happy to consume your art form if that’s your thing. Happier to consume your thing. Haha!

Anyway, none of you read this shit. You look at the photo, think, “Yeah, I’d fuck that,” and you click. I wish it were as simple for women. It’s more simple when I’m less sober. So let’s see who responds to THIS version of my “profile.”

What I’m doing with my life
Apparently, online dating. Still. I do all sorts of things with my life, all of them interesting. I usually have a dozen projects in the works at any one time and make money doing a number of different things.

Oh. And three months a year I’m out in the Black Rock Desert working for
Burning Man. It’s a pretty great job!

I’m really good at
Writing. Costuming. Millinery – making hats, tiaras, crowns. Managing the Sign Shop out at that thing in the desert. Remembering all the lyrics. Event production. Graphic design. Listening. Cleaning. Brunching. Finding the bargains at the flea market. All kindsa stuff.
The first things people usually notice about me
My smile. And that I’m tall. People seem to like my hair. You tell me!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Lots.
Movies: Old stuff? Clockwork Orange & It’s a Wonderful Life. New stuff? Ummmm…
Shows: like TV? I don’t have a regular TV anymore so I binge watch: Downton Abbey, Walking Dead, Breaking Bad.
Music: Shit you can sing along to. Mostly.
Food: Aw, stuff ‘n’ things…and Mexican food. And ice cream. I’ve never met a chocolate chip cookie I didn’t like…
Truly, this stuff is the kind of thing that’s fun to find out when you’re first getting to know someone. Don’t you like discovering?
The six things I could never do without
Hmmm, how to fill in this blank? Be clever? Literal? List more than six and be all, “Ooooh, I’m such a renegade!” I am often reaching for seltzer (lemon-lime) or my phone (Words with Friends…I’m an addict). My friends. My family. My health. Something to look forward to. (I’m not one to sit at home and wait for people to call me, so I’m always planning something.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
whether or not online dating will ever work for me. I’m really a brick & mortar type person, who prefers to hear and smell and get a live, in person vibe. So if I’m insistent upon meeting in person (as opposed to volleying endless emails, talking on the phone or “chatting”) be patient with me. It’s just the way I’m wired.
On a typical Friday night I am
doing something fun! Going to a party, dinner with friends, having people over, making something. There’s nothing all that typical about my life, really. However, weekends are sort of amateur hour, especially in my ‘hood, so I tend to avoid the local bars and restaurants.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
There’s nothing all that private. In fact, if you Googled me, you’d find just about everything.
You should message me if
You’re tired of being bored on dates, being single at your friends’ dinner parties, being alone on those nights when you don’t feel inspired to go out but would like some company…well, you get the picture. You just should! I’m an avid responder.

A Bit of (Bar) Back Story

So I’ve been thinking that, given I may not have the time (or the patience) for the online dating blather soon, maybe what I will blog about is the process of starting a whole new life. At 56. Dunno if it will be as compelling but, well, it’s what I’ll be going through and this blog has always been about that! I know Jeff might be disappointed (sorry, Jeff!) and I won’t be ruling out dating altogether. Meaning if someone asks me out, I’ll certainly go! But if I’m gonna have a new life, a whole new frame of mind might be good too!

Anyway, the beginning. Last January a close friend of mine died. I still haven’t blogged about it because I…just can’t. Yet. Maybe never. Plenty has been written about grief. Probably more eloquently than I could muster. I’ve never really had to deal with it. Relatives have died, yes, but never anyone so close to me. This death — my grief — motivated me to look for a “kick in the ass.” Years ago I did the whole Lifespring thing and I wanted to experience a similar “reset” so I took the Landmark Forum course. It provided me with so many “ah-ha” moments. The same few days I was taking the course a friend called to ask if I wanted to buy a bar his company was thinking of selling. I asked my sister, “Hey, wanna buy me a bar?” Surprisingly she didn’t say no.

That series of events set this whole thing into motion. I had already been researching the business and interviewing bar owners, taking notes and receiving “homework” from people. It’s been a long journey, one that obviously is far from over. I’ve made an offer. Nothing is inked yet. It could all fall through or I could be holding the keys by next week.

Stay tuned. Gulp.

Bloody Mary Research & KTHXBI OKC

I had a date the other night. It was pretty great. He was tall, handsome, funny and interesting. I’d like to see him again.

Natasha and I spent yesterday afternoon doing Bloody Mary research. We started at Vasac’s aka Horseshoe Bar. They were $11, a bit too spicy and came with celery, lemon, lime and a pickle slice. We had to tolerate a dozen different football games on a dozen different flat-screen TVs and a bar full of people there to watch the sports ball. Next was Manitoba’s, where the price was $11 again. I think the bartender forgot to add the hot sauce because they were a little bland. She put a bit of Clamato in and I almost fell off my barstool. What if I hadn’t been paying attention and had a shellfish allergy? Anaphylactic shock alert! It was too thin; I prefer my bloodies to be more substantial. But she was very accommodating and gave us the ingredients to add “to taste,” including celery. The only garnish was a lemon wedge. (“This ain’t the Ritz,” she said. True enough!) Two pretty normal-sized TVs were showing the Jets vs Giants game and only one dude seemed actually interested in watching. From there we stumbled downtown to Mama’s, where there was a huge pull-down screen showing the Jets/Giants game. The price there was $8 and the drinks were delicious: thicker, spicy but not too spicy and garnished with celery, lemon and lime. Last we bumbled to Double Down. Natasha is a fan of the bacon vodka but I prefer the regular. Jenn served up our drinks at $11 each but it was happy hour so we got a second one free. By then we’d had enough bloodies and opted for beers. And need I say that there was no sports ball on in the bar? Take away: You can charge $11-$12 for a Bloody Mary on Avenue B! Asking the bartenders, and googling the drink, one should not order one after the sun goes down. And four of them — even spaced out over a couple of hours — is too many! Urp. I was passed out by 8pm!

Oh. And one last “negative” post about OKCupid. I think it may be time to quit online dating. It’s been five years and I haven’t had much success. Instead of wasting time making fun of those guys I need to channel my energy into the new business. Which sorta ties in with this weird exchange. It’s a long one but I want to know: Is this guy some sort of schizophrenic? (Scroll all the way to the bottom for the weirdest part of it all…’cause most of it is pretty dull. Just odd and dull. I don’t know why I kept trying to “salvage” the conversation. Sigh.)
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Just a wild guess , American Trash no not my opinion of you silly, where the first photo of you behind the bar was taken

Nope. Double Down.

LOL was I close ?

Geographically?

That and in regards to atmosphere
I applaud your self confidence as well as your sense of humor
3 of the utmost of admirable traits

I think I’ve only been to American Trash once. But if dive bar is the atmosphere, then yes!

Hey , don’t ever knock dive bars to me

My favorite.

They are as American ( really they began in England) as Apple pie
I lived in CBGBs
great gildersleeves
Mudd club

And now? Baldwin? [He lives in Baldwin, NY.]

Palladium. Ritz
Academy. Bottom
Line,Rosalind , Bonds
LOL now your knocking
Baldwin
So you are in Alphabet City
“Shut up and drink ” LOL

Not knocking anyplace. Just wondering.

That was joke , your a New Yorker and a bar keep I am sure you did not think I was serious
I am John
it’s my pleasure to type to you

Oh, sorry. It is difficult to discern humor via email…
I’m Abby
And not a barkeep quite yet.
It’s my next career.

Abby
Please tell me you are not currently at work

Now? No.

OK I hope I am not interrupting you ??

Only sorta. I’m at a friend’s.

Fuck me , Please forgive me
Go pretend to be enthralled with their presence
LOL “If your in the crown tonight, have a drink on me, Go easy , step lightly , and stay free” !!!!
Talk to you later

Uh, okay! Lemme know if you’d like to meet for a drink!

Meet , I full expect you to buy me back at least one
So you are not tending bar at Double Down , where would one find you ?

I’m buying my own bar. I can let you know when that happens. But if you’d like to meet sooner, we can pick a place!

Wait , are you seriously contemplating investing your life in a bar ?
I have bar owning in my DNA going back 6 generations

Yes. It will be by New Year’s Day.
What? Really? Wow!

OK the first thing I will tell you, in hopes you at the very least consider my suggestions, and to earn your trust

Yes?

I can promise you that no one in your family or anyone very close to you has ever own their own business , least of all a bar in Manhattan

If you’re gonna try and talk me out of it, please don’t.
You’re right. No one in my family has ever owned a bar business.

OK If you just look at what you just sent me !!! You need to immediately I mean from this second on , change everything you have ever thought or know. My first example of this is how you reacted to what I said to you. Your mind was made up that I was going to attempt to talk you out of it, which in fact IS THE DIRECT OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WAS GOING TO DO

Oh.Ok. Can we meet in person and talk? Cause this is really not the best way to communicate.

I honestly prefer to talk here first, because I have a very long list of those I have helped and continue to help and to be honest my time is limited I very much would love nothing more than for you to not only obtain your bar but to see you prosper

Well, thank you. I’m pretty far along in the process. And bar or no bar, if you aren’t interested in meeting, mum, why bother? I know a lot of people who own bars and have been interviewing them for years… Not to be rude or dismissive but, again, this is an imperfect mode of communication. Especially with a stranger. No nuance. Happy to speak on the phone (which I’m usually reluctant to do prior to meeting) if you’d like. Just not right this minute.

I said earlier , I fully expected to meet. Did you not get my message ? That aside , I am sure you are well past the due diligence stage, you have received all the documents in regards to any liens and back taxes, you have formed a LLC and you have the Liquor Authority’s assurance as to the prior business establishment’s owner and his outstanding bills

Yes
And yes, I saw that you did want to meet. And I think this conversation would be easier (and not while I’m with friends) when we meet in person.

If you admit that you saw that I wanted to meet you , which you just did, why would you say this ? And bar or no bar, if you aren’t interested in meeting, mum, why bother? I am curious why you would completely contradict yourself in what you obviously see is from my point of view , perplexing at the very least ?

I’m sorry. I’m watching a movie AND talking with my friends. Which is why I suggested we talk at another time.
You said your time is limited. I took that as a brush off.
Anyway, another time?

another time

Hey John! When would you like to meet up? I’m free on Thursday.
So? Did you lose interest? No worries, if so. Just wanted to hear your bar advice. Going to see the space I’ve pretty much decided on tonight. Wheeeeee!

Let me know how it goes !
Best of luck to you

Thank you for the polite brush off. Best of luck to you as well.

LOL WOW , I am never wrong when I want to be, and this is one of the times I want so badly to be wrong
You have an enormous amount of baggage , far too much to carry if you intend to start , run and expand a profitable business

What baggage? How do you know? We’ve never even met. Or spoken. Wow. Nice job ruling me out without even a conversation.

LOL You just proved my point !!! I never at any time ruled you out
I don’t need anything more than a photo of your face to know you

You said I have too much baggage to run a business. I took that to mean “ruled me out” as a successful business. And saying you only need a photo of my face to know me is the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard.
You can stop email me now. Because I’m blocking you.
Bye!

Fuck Time Warner

I just spent one hour and 24 minutes speaking with four different Time Warner employees. I now have no wifi and a technician coming tomorrow to hard wire my laptop to the Internet. Because the wifi isn’t free with the Internet connection. The wifi is $5.95 per month extra. And the modem that gave me wifi is an extra $8 per month. I can’t wait to see what the guy is gonna have with him tomorrow. I’m envisioning a giant metal tube. To connect me to the Internet.

Fuck. Time. Warner.

Seriously. Why can’t I get Fios? 

Dear Laura,

Yesterday when I posted to Facebook that Yes-Vember! was over and listed all the people I had mentioned in this blog, my stats went “through the roof!” (as WordPress said, hyperbolically). There were almost as many comments, too, also on Facebook. I’m equally guilty: I read someone’s blog and comment about it on Facebook. I think that’s part of their evil plan: keep all the eyeballs on Facebook. Comments on my blog actually on my blog are a more rare occurrence and are, usually (and comparatively), negative. There are a few obvious reasons, firstly that the people on Facebook know me. More importantly, though, I think most of the people reading (and commenting) here are fellow blog writers. Perhaps more “peer” than “dear friend” or “adoring fan.” Or whatever. I have to assume that if they’re blogging (and have the time to read others’ blogs…and comment) they might also harbor just a smidge of the “frustrated writer” angst that I often experience.
All that said, I received a comment yesterday and wasn’t able to reply to it. Not sure why. I am consistently boggled by technology. So I thought I’d respond to her [constructive] criticism here.

You don’t take [constructive] criticism very well. Or so it seems.

I am curious, Laura, which criticism you felt I didn’t take well. The mean words of the men on OKCupid? Because I didn’t receive much response to my posts during Yes-Vember!

From Yes-vember to Drekember, you take this all so personally, in particular the (lack of) comments to your “positive” compositions; the ok cupids for the neg. After all this time, after all this writing, and dating, you appear to have learned little, and fall back on old, nasty, habits.

If you mean by “old, nasty, habits” writing about the hilarious guys on OKC, well, yes, I am falling back on that. It won’t be (and has never been) a daily thing. I write about a lot of topics. But people who read (and comment on) my OKCupid escapades seem to really enjoy them. At least that’s the feedback I get via Facebook. I will continue to write about online dating, as well as all the other topics.

Why would anyone want to comment about the people you know, admire, have worked with, and seem—for reasons best known to you—worthy of public praise? To borrow from your unsolicited Cupid comments, “Who (except the profilee) gives a rat’s ass?”

Why would anyone want to comment about the people I know? Hmm, maybe to say, “Cool art! Thanks for tipping me off!” or “I love her stuff! I bought one of her widgets as a Christmas gift! Thanks!” Or even just a quick, “Thank you for introducing me to a new artist.” My question is, why WOULDN’T someone want to comment on any of those posts? There were SO many responses to the posts on Facebook and almost zero here. Is it because they AREN’T negative? I am seriously curious. 

The best a writer, blogger, (venter?, ranter?) can do is compose compelling pieces; from that the comments will come. Not that you’ll take a positive suggestion.

How is that a “positive suggestion”? Are the blog posts “compelling” only to people on Facebook? Not to people who only read (and comment) through WordPress? Again, just sincerely curious.

As for Cupid, you (and your profile) are bait, and do I really need to go for the obvious joke that you’re a master (or mistress) at this? If you, in this incarnation (and all past ones), present yourself in a certain way, you will continue to get the same types of response. I won’t suggest you change—you won’t—so get over it, and get over them.

I shouldn’t have to point out that the OKCupid stuff I post on here is merely a fraction of the email I receive. There is the good, the bad and the ugly. There is also the banal, the boring, the goes-nowhere (Hi! Hello. Let’s meet….and schedules get in the way….interest wanes…) and, rarely, the super-awesome! Yes, I do go on fun and interesting dates. Sadly, they don’t make for compelling blog posts. Imagine what will happen when I meet someone perfect and we ride off into the sunset together! Zzzzzzz….

In “Abby World” THEY are the aggressors and you, merely, the defendant. Why bother? Why start something? Why perpetuate the animus? If you’re trying to spin straw into gold, perhaps you need a better spinning wheel, otherwise the wannabees will all be Rumpelstiltskins.

Again, not all the wannabees are Rumpelstiltskins. Some are Cyranos. They don’t make for much entertainment. But I digress. If you don’t find what I write to be straw spun into gold, well, that was never my intent. I’m taking straw and showing that straw to the world. Another woman emailed me to say that the exact same man said the exact same thing to her. And I would bet that her profile is nothing at all like mine. Nope. The guy just gets off on “negging.” Telling women, “That’s an ugly photo.” Why would anyone write that? I’ve suggested to men that they re-shoot their selfie without the open toilet in the background. But that isn’t what I’d consider “negging.” More like constructive criticism. I have also, in the past, received an email from a woman who had a bad feeling about a prospective OKC date and, after googling his screen name, found my blog. I had written that he was a scammer and by reading the blog she avoided experiencing the same thing. So anyway, that’s all sort of beside the point. I believe I can take criticism. And I could, of course, be totally wrong. However, if you think I should stop writing about these guys, that I won’t do. If you don’t find it to be spun gold, I can invite you to not read the blog when the topic is “online dating.” I write about other things; check out my topics. Maybe you could offer criticism on a piece I’ve written on a different topic? I use this blog to keep my writing chops (such as they are) from getting rusty. With the bar business, those chops may just have to rust. 

And sincere best wishes (really!) with the alcohol emporium. With no desire for a finder’s fee, I’ll offer my suggestion for it: The Snark Bar. Apt.

Thank you for the suggestion. I actually love it! Though even I, as horrible as I can be, know better than to “go negative” as a business model. I could also go with Douche-Free Zone but I don’t want to over-promise! Anyway, gotta run and see a few more bars to buy!

 

And Now We Return You To Your Regularly Scheduled Programming…

In remembrance on World AIDS Day. Happy Giving Tuesday. Happy Wear a Dress Day. And Happy 60th Anniversary of Rosa Parks refusing to give up her bus seat. Oh. And RABBIT RABBIT!

Yes-Vember is over. I promise not to devolve into a downward spiral of depression. Because I am hard at work starting a bar business. Yes, that’s my next career. I should’ve done it 30 years ago; it would’ve saved me from being fired from all those jobs! But, well, those stars weren’t quite aligned. Now they are. So stay tuned. Until that happens, I will continue to regale you with my hilarious tales of online dating. I may also regale you with tales of putting together a bar business because I have a feeling that will be fairly riveting! And because it’s Giving Tuesday!

1397843_10152334179621364_8448809569858290407_o.jpg 1012099_10151483233831364_1315972225_n.jpg 1375957_10151576164481364_1568388469_n.jpg
A Few of My Profile Photos

Over the past month, while I was being positive and full of sunshine and unicorns, the online dating world didn’t change a bit. Here are a few of the more appalling interactions I’ve had. Marianne can’t understand why I respond to these guys. I do it for you, my dear readers! In the name of entertainment! All are presented as written: typos, crappy punctuation and all:

From _Tonester_:, who sounds like a totally arrogant douche:
Wow, that profile is pretty fucking exceptional. What’s your story?
Thanks for the note but I’m Upstate indefinitely both caring for my ill sister and enjoying the quiet to write a complex screenplay.
Ok, well you might want to change your location so no one else bothers you!
Maybe it’s something I say just to get rid of people. /Blocked
Huh. Wow. Okay.

From AlmostTooMuch, an overly-muscular 32-year-old:
hello there
Hi.
how are you doing?
shy?
Shy? Hardly. Just not really interested in anyone so much younger.
is that a defense mechanism?
nervous about what you will tangle with?
Oh please. Spare me. I’ve tangled with far wilder than you. And younger. Just not into it right now.
Sorry.
younger isn’t a particular virtue. neither is wilder. ever tangled with bigger?
I’ve had sex with well over 100 people. I’m sure I’ve had far bigger than you, too.
oh? are you? we can bet 🙂
Dude. Bigger isn’t a particular virtue either. I’m not interested.
you know that you would rather have bigger than smaller and you would rather be stretched than sheltered
Sheltered? Seriously? Sheltered from what? Some guy who thinks his cock is god’s gift to women? No thanks.
i never said that. sheltered isn’t a good thing, and my cock can cause discomfort..
I don’t know about your cock but your personality is causing me discomfort.
my personality? it’s benign. i ease into things…. 😉
Well you won’t be easing into THIS thing! But thanks for providing me with a couple laughs. Blocking you. Bye!

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BEHOLD this HUNK OF MAN!

From, apparently, Michael Chabon, above:
You’re obviously a bright, perhaps very bright, woman and the first photo shows that you’re attractive but you fuck it up with those other lunatic shots…and you’re mistaken, some people do read the entire commentary.
Ah…one more point. You’ve said you’re an “avid responded.” [stet…what I say is “avid responder.”] Not necessary; I have a suspicion that you could bite the nuts off a brass monkey.
Uh. Okay. Well if you don’t like my photos, you needn’t have email me at all. Bad day? Needed to criticize a stranger? Have a great week!
You missed the point, or I didn’t express it clearly. What I tried to convey is that your commentary is very cool, beguiling…and the first photo shows an attractive woman but the others show a clown.

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Here’s the shot he thought was “so weird.”

I remember seeing one of them (you had it as the first shot) every time I signed on to look at messages. It was so weird that I never bothered to even click on the profile. It’s a very cool commentary, and suggests a very cool lady.
A cool lady? With photos of a clown? Does it matter that a few of the photos are of me onstage? [And one where I am, actually, a CLOWN! See above.] That I don’t look like that in my day to day life? Might you have kept that to yourself? And then to tell me not to bother responding? What’s the point of communicating if it’s only one way?
Babe, listen…no one knows they’re of you on stage and no one is going to give a rats ass. You’re a pretty woman, obviously not frightened of her own sexuality, and the commentary you produced is far more compelling then [stet] the stupid banalities that represent 99% of the garbage in here. I simply believe that the following photos act to vitiate all that precedes them.
So…I just saw that you’re 5’10″…supposing I meet you wearing elevator shoes…or stilts.
Cody
You would know if you read the captions. As for giving a rat’s ass…well, if one is interested in another, one might, actually, give that rat’s ass. What about the last photo? No makeup. Plain. Or the second one? Still too clowny?
The last one is also attractive but the 2nd one is not.
You live in Manhattan?
Yes, I do live in Manhattan.
You do drugs, think nuclear war might be exciting, and have no problem cutting some lunatic that shoots his bolt that way. Swell.
I have no doubt…none…zero…that you would be the greatest sexual partner on the planet if I could stop laughing long enough to test it.
Well, that isn’t going to happen. I’m not the least bit attracted to you. Now YOU don’t need to respond because one second after I hit Send I will be hitting Block. Because you sound like a real prick.
Bye!

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Photo as shown on OKC. Apparently h e doesn’t know how to edit photos.

From r21056:
That picture makes you no justice
Which one? And how would you know if you haven’t met me in person?
Download the Bible song You Beautiful I know that
The ones with the goggles on your beautiful I know that
What the hell are you talking about?
Sorry if I offended you
Go away
Should you take me away
Bye.
you know that pretty
Look like a fool with f***** glasses
Blocking you. Bye. Again.
No let me block you stupid
Oh, I’m beautiful until I reject you? Asshole.

From SOXFOX2004:
[In response to his saying that he won’t communicate with anyone who uses emoticons.] Aw, c’mon, there are instances when an emoticon is perfect!
Not in a New York minute! ; )
How was that oyster/cashew/burnt blood orange/boysenberry stuffing anyway?
I didn’t care for it. But I liked the traditional one!
So are you really 5’5″?
No actually 6’2″ but I try to avoid intimidating Okers.
How sweet that you had to lower the bar and explain what millinery is. I could chide you about your alcoholism, but it might just be more fun to meet and fuck you.
So are you just bored and looking to take our some aggression?

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Can’t you just feel the excitement? The THRILL of dating this dude?

From artimesboy [boy? really? At 59?]:
My good friend Benny made me a sizable bet that your personality is not as stunning as your looks. Of course, I strongly disagreed but he is insisting confirmation by phone or a brief meeting. 
Help me win the bet and put Benny in his place.
E***
Hi E***,
Happy to help you win that bet!
I’ll be at a bar/club called Meridian tomorrow night. Come meet me there!
Abby
PS Will Benny be coming with you or is he gonna just take your word? Heh.
I’ll surprise you. What time will you be at bar? It would be better to meet during a band break.
I’ll be there early, before the bands start, like 6.
So, um, is this a date? Or just an audition of sorts? Because I’ll be there with friends.
Sounds like we should figure another place and time where it’s just the two of us. Perhaps in Midtown on Thursday night.
I would actually prefer meeting you and Benny Wednesday. The more social an outing, the better chances of everyone having a good time!
I really really don’t like dates…
Sounds like your fearful. I’ll pass. By the way, Benny is a dog.
Oh. Hah! Benny is a VERY good friend, then. The best. As they say.
Fearful? Hardly. Just tired of spending so much time on dates. If you’d like to meet me AND a couple other interesting people too, which I think is a much better idea, let me know. You’ll never know whether my personality is any match for my photos!