Ousted by OKCupid

Well, I guess it’s official (though not through any assistance from the site): OKCupid has booted me. People looking at old emails from me see “Sorry, EditrixAbby no longer has an account.” Initially it said, “This user has deleted/disabled their profile.” I’d like to say that while the former is true the latter most definitely is not. I didn’t disable or delete my profile, OKStupid did.

A while back I was almost banned for “soliciting.” I can’t seem to find my post here about the incident but one of the men I’d been emailing with let me know. Apparently he’s one of the site’s “judges” and his opinion was that I was not, in fact, soliciting. Which I wasn’t. I was corresponding with a guy who was interested in being dominated and I let him know that while I’ve dabbled, it wasn’t really something I was all that interested in personally. The way I put it included the words “for money” and he took that to mean that I wanted him to pay me. What it meant was that the only way I would consider what he was looking for was “for money” and that therefore he should look elsewhere. He reported me, I guess, and I came close to getting the boot.

This time I was actually asking for money, but not in exchange for sexual favors. Or a spanking. Many of the men I correspond with seem nice enough, even if they hold no interest for me romantically, and I often inquire if they might be interested in attending one of my singles’ events. Most say yes. I mean, why not, right? And since OKCupid’s “Events” are designed primarily for younger members, I figure I’m offering a valuable service. Seems OKCupid doesn’t agree. I had sent out details about my upcoming Heart Palpitations event to a bunch of guys, inviting them to attend. There’s a $10 cover charge. I guess that somehow this translated to solicitation. Or some such. Ah well…that’s really a shame, since it seems like many of these men don’t get out much. It would’ve been a perfect opportunity for them to meet a bunch of interesting new people — not to mention me! — and maybe learn a few things about love. Sigh.

Maybe a few of them will Google me and find this. In any event, it might’ve been nice if OKCupid had let me know that I have, indeed, been banned, rather than just making it seem like the site isn’t working. It’s pretty crappy customer relations. Guess it’s time to get serious and join Match.com. Double sigh…

11 responses to “Ousted by OKCupid

  1. Well, that is funny, considering all the negative things that can and do happen there, and you go and do something positive. $10 is not much to begin with, and it’s a free will suggestion.

  2. Its not like you were meeting fabulous people there, so maybe this is not so bad. Also, you could just sign up with another name, email and profile. A lot of work but could be fun to see if you attract the same guys and if OK Stupid ever catches on to it.

  3. Remember the words of Einstein: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Rather than return to what did not work in the past, do something else. There are many places a woman can go to where she will find herself in the company of large numbers of men with few women about to compete against for their attention. Meetings of the Junto Society, anything relating to science and technology or history, the Aqueduct Racetrack, bookstores, bars, etc. Men are everywhere. As far as match goes, you might as well be on plentyoffish and save yourself a few bucks.

    • Talk about doing the same thing over and over… Gregor, you’ve made these suggestions before. Thank you for your input. I don’t believe the answer is to merely put myself in the company of “large numbers of men.” What I need is the company of just one. The “right” one. And I highly doubt he’s at the Junot Society.

  4. Give Abby some credit; she’s likely considered re-entering the OKCupid sphere under a different identity. It doesn’t work that way, and this may be a cautionary tale to all of us online. We each have a fingerprint thru our Internet Service Provider (ISP). Cupid has blocked Abby’s current username and future usernames (and access) from her home with her connection via Time Warner, or Comcast, or DirecTV or however she gets online. The wizards at Cupid (and all subscribed services) know this and have have built safeguards to prevent re-entry once you’ve been banned.

    Abby, your only alternative, if you want to rejoin Cupid, is to create a username at a WiFi hotspot, (or when you take your show on the road to BurningMan), but this will not allow you to have access from your home.

  5. GoodKingWenceslas

    LOL asking for money….maybe Elliott Spitzer is available…

  6. They deleted my account too! One day I got an email that read:

    “Your account was deleted because of inappropriate content in a message you sent.
    If you were subscribed to A-List, we refunded your credit card for a prorated amount based on the time remaining in your A-List subscription.
    If you would like to contact us, visit http://www.okcupid.com/feedback

    I never sent any inappropriate content! And to add insult to injury, they never refunded the money from my recently acquired one year A-List membership!
    I sent them emails and never got a single response.

    • I would contact them again. Was this around the time they were acquired by Match.com? Since they’re a bigger company, perhaps they’ll have better (or more responsive) customer service.

  7. This was a couple of weeks ago, so these policies are certainly Match.com’s. They seem to track your IP because I couldn’t even create a new account from my usual IP! I then tried using a proxy server and voila, it worked as expected. However, it seems it doesn’t stop there. Apparently if you log in to a non-blocked account from a blocked IP then it seems they “flag” the non-blocked account as well and you won’t be able to log in after that.
    I guess weeding out scammers and trolls must be high priority to them, and that’s great, but I think this is going too far. And the fact they never refunded my A-List membership is just ridiculous….

    • I managed to create a new account from the same IP. Who knows what their secret rules are? I get all kinds of spammy emails from guys who then disappear. Why don’t they manage to screen and block them? All this effort for…what? Hilariously disastrous dates!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s