Easy

Sex used to be easy. I’d get dressed up in something semi-slutty, sit at my local bar and wait till someone caught my eye. Or I caught their’s.

Since I was never really a “dater” I have no experience with the process. My history has been exclusively being “easy.” And drunk. Do people flop into bed together sober? On which date? The first? Second? Tenth? If I’m not immediately attracted to someone I suppose I could drink myself into the mood. While sober my mind only talks me out of it. So if I’m enjoying a guy’s company, at what point do we wind up in bed?

If it didn’t happen on the first date and we both want a second, is it somehow implied? I mean, is it safe to assume that if we don’t fuck on the second date there won’t be a third? I’ve never actually gotten to know someone before I had sex with them; it was always a case of the opposite. Which, of course, not only removed any element of surprise but also guaranteed that we were sexually compatible. Or at least enjoyed kissing. And it meant that in the event of a second date (or, technically, a first one) we were both safe in the knowledge that that bridge had already been crossed. So to speak.

Yup. Being easy was easier.

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2 responses to “Easy

  1. I love this post because I too, in my pre married years, was easy. And back in the day, it was not as easy being easy as it is today. Years ago, before there was all this polyamory and advanced sexuality, a girl who managed her sexual affairs the way you and I did it was considered a slut. By in large we were disrespected for this behavior, other girls gossiped about us, and guys did not take us seriously. It was those exceptions to this attitude that thinned out the herd and where we found our most valuable relationships. I laugh now at the freedom, at least in our insular NYC community, to sleep around and be considered cool for doing so, as opposed to twenty years ago when it was a very different thing. Be yourself Abby, I know you will, and I think that each situation is unique and your gut, so to speak, will tell you when to take that plunge.

  2. I’m making the reverse journey – going from dating to being easy. (TMI alert) As a relatively geeky female, I am now spending $$$ on on appearance upgrades – what is “protocol” for 2012 (alright 2013) NYC? I am not a commercial enterprise and between lingerie, pedicures and hair removal, my most excellent toy from babeland seems like value for money, on a per orgasm basis. Just sayin’!

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