Content? Or Malcontent?

Why is the number one search that brings people to my blog “vaginal massage?” I’ve written about a lot of things (over and over and over) but have only mentioned “vaginal massage” once. Sheesh!

This past week was (obviously) another one spent avoiding the computer and suffering from some serious FOMO (fear of missing out). There was just so much going on! On Saturday alone there was the Dance Parade, Brooklyn’s Great Googa Mooga, the big punk bash Black & Blue Bowl, Electric Daisy Carnival out at the Meadowlands, Joey Ramone’s Birthday Party, Love That Fever, blahblahblah.

The EDC lasted from Friday till Sunday and I got to see at least a little peek of it, helping to wrangle balloons again with the Balloon Chain. Our wristbands got us free food and free carnival rides. Wheee! Loved the spiral slide, the barfy swings and The Zipper! Got to see the Spire of Fire, all the way from Reno and tended to by DPW, FLG and more! Of course, the music wasn’t exactly my thing but it sure was fun to see the furry, dayglo raver kids. And on Sunday I rode the subway up to the Bronx for Winkel & Balktick’s “Flappers & Philosophers,” an afternoon lawn party a la F. Scott Fitzgerald. People were really dressed up! It felt like we’d stepped back in time.

But yeah, I’ve been avoiding the computer. I simply haven’t felt inspired lately. Writing about my miserable dating life (or lack thereof) has just become kinda boring. And somewhat depressing. I don’t feel motivated to write about “happy” stuff because no one seems to enjoy reading it. And of course I’ve been struggling with how “happy” can I be while still trying to change my current situation. Can I be content and discontent simultaneously?

I don’t know. Maybe it’s my impending birthday. Another year older and no closer to…whatever it is I’ve been striving for. Or have I had that my whole life? And yet I keep tricking myself into believing I “need” something…else? Whatever. In a few months (60 days, to be exact) I’ll be back in tiny little Gerlach with a job to do, a crew to manage and a whole lotta beer to drink. I kinda can’t wait.

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4 responses to “Content? Or Malcontent?

  1. Happy thoughts and musings from an interesting and engaged person are almost always enjoyable, especially for those of us living vicariously through you and your travels. It can’t always be dark and mean, let the sun shine in every once in a while! You love the beach and the bar. Yin and yang.
    It’s all good!

  2. “Are we still on for Friday night?” is among the top searches that lands one at my site… Maybe I should just retire and become a magic 8 ball instead since I think most of those searchers are looking for real answers, not my ramblings… Great to read you again…happy or discontented 🙂
    c.

  3. I totally understand being not inspired… I wonder sometimes if I need a few drinks to get new inspiration…

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