I’ve heard from many people that they’re impressed with the way I “put it out there,” or, as Mermaid #2 said in response to my last post, the openness and honesty of my feelings. I write what I feel in that never-ending effort to achieve self-enlightenment. Or at least reaching for the truth.
I write this blog because no one’s paying me to write anything else. And trying to remain in touch with my feelings helps keep me sane. Often it’s a case of over-sharing. I’m able to be so brutally honest because I imagine no one’s really paying attention. Of course, I obsessively check my blog stats and am aware that isn’t true. There are people reading my words. But in my mind they’re all strangers, random folks who’ve found me because they did a search for “heartbreak” or “online dating.” This delusion is shattered when friends respond and I’m often humbled that they take the time, both to read and to respond.
In my efforts to combine honesty with diplomacy, I attempt to spare peoples’ feelings — with the obvious exception of the poor shlubs unlucky enough to wind up on dates with me. Yesterday’s post included a fairly specific reference to someone who was subsequently offended. Which of course was not my intention. But I will offer this warning: if you’re in my life, even tangentially, you have an affect upon me. We are all interconnected. So please don’t be surprised if you see yourself here. And be aware that, as hard as I strive for empathy, I am only capable of seeing things through my jaundiced shades. While I’d prefer that those around me not be collateral damage(d), I also don’t plan on mincing words or compromising the honesty that people tell me they appreciate. I appreciate you all, too.