How to Offend an “Older Woman” #1

If you’ve been following my blog because you find my dating (mis) adventures either heartwarming or hilarious, I don’t want to let you down and leave you in an expanding puddle of…porn. Here’s one of my latest, an “almost” date.

I’ve been receiving many cyber-passes from younger men (younger men meaning mostly 20-somethings) and decided that maybe I should give one a go. (Or at least a date.) So when 22-year-old “D” contacted me on OKCupid, I thought, what the hell? His initial email:

Although you’re perhaps looking for older guys, I just want to say that I think you’re exceedingly cute and intriguing. 
That is all. 🙂

After a few emails back and forth, we switched to texting:

Hi Abby! Yes, let’s meet up. I’ll be coming into Penn Station, [odd, since his profile says he’s in New York, NY]  but I could come down to the East Village. Are there any restaurants you fancy? I could find one, though I’m not the NYC native!)

There are so many! Do you have a preference? Atmosphere? Cuisine? Gimme a ballpark idea and I’ll pick a place!

Well, I do rather like Thai and Indian food, if I have to choose (although I’m not picky). On the other hand, a nice dimly lit romantic restaurant would be nice ; )

I prefer Thai. [Notice how I sidestepped the whole “romantic restaurant” thing? Why encourage it?] There are a bunch! Cafetasia on Avenue A between 5th & 6th has a nice atmosphere.

That could work, although, for a rather silly reason, I might prefer somewhere else. (A few of my friends live at 6th and Avenue A so I’m sort of paranoid of seeing them on our date!)

Yeah okay well on second thought? Nevermind.

On second thought what?

On second thought, no thank you. Not interested.

Um, okay….

Clearly he had NO idea why I blew him off. Sheesh, kids! So I sent him an email to let him know and perhaps help him avoid offending other “older women”:

Just an FYI: In the future, when you’re attempting to “charm” an “older woman,” you might not want to mention that you don’t want to be seen with her.
Just sayin’.

Can you believe it was actually necessary for me to point out why his innocent remark might’ve been so hurtful? What was I thinking, making a date to meet someone less than half my age? I had no delusions about the possibility of a relationship and absolutely no intention of sleeping with the guy. Ever. I don’t want to be anyone’s punch line! Was I only going out of sheer curiosity? Or for the free meal? I don’t even know. But I probably won’t be too eager to make another date with anyone quite so young. Sigh…

11 responses to “How to Offend an “Older Woman” #1

  1. Well, I would say, don’t jump to conclusions. I’m not sure he said that because he was embarrassed to be seen with you… it’s just well, a lot of people don’t want to be busted on their dates by friends (I know I don’t!)… and often it’s because they don’t want their dates to see their friends, not the other way around. Probably has nothing to do with age… And anyway, truly, you probably don’t want to see his 22-year-old friends. THAT will spook you for sure. It often does to me!

  2. Wow. He blew that, big time.

    I mean, I could see it being awkward running into a friend on a first date, but I’m sure you’re right that for him, the age thing factored in. How embarrassing (for him!). What a terrible way to deal with.

    I mean, honestly, you deserve someone youthfully spirited and hot, but also, they have to…well. Not be a complete idiot. Whatever your intentions were, this one proved himself to be inept from the outset. Eghg.

  3. *terrible way to deal with that

  4. But your fuckin ancient! I can’t blame the guy.

  5. If I was 22 I would not want my friends to see me with some old used up hag that I was just planning to fuck either.

  6. I would not, I don’t want HPV.

    • Your chances of getting HPV from “an old hag” are just as high — or low — as from a younger woman. It really depends upon the sexual history/activity. And your use of protection. A friend of mine got HPV from a 17-year-old. So there’s really no telling. Just be sure to wear a condom, regardless of the age of the person you’re fucking.

  7. I was referring to the chance of getting HPV from you in particular which is much higher than some random 17 year old.

    • Well, if you’re talking VERY specifically about me, then fine. Condoms prevent the transmission of HPV. As for fucking anyone “random,” your chances are equally “random.” So always use a condom. And if you ARE talking specifically about ME, I might ask, why would you even be asking me out on a “date” in the first place? If all you want to do is talk to me, then none of this is relevant. If you want to fuck me (or anyone), you should be wearing a condom, which will prevent transmission. And if you wouldn’t want to fuck — or be seen with — an “old hag” then, my friend, you are barking up the wrong tree. Er, talking to the wrong person!

  8. Pingback: Dating Older Guys: Pros And Cons « The Chaotic Soul

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