Daily Archives: February 9, 2012

How to Offend an “Older Woman” #1

If you’ve been following my blog because you find my dating (mis) adventures either heartwarming or hilarious, I don’t want to let you down and leave you in an expanding puddle of…porn. Here’s one of my latest, an “almost” date.

I’ve been receiving many cyber-passes from younger men (younger men meaning mostly 20-somethings) and decided that maybe I should give one a go. (Or at least a date.) So when 22-year-old “D” contacted me on OKCupid, I thought, what the hell? His initial email:

Although you’re perhaps looking for older guys, I just want to say that I think you’re exceedingly cute and intriguing. 
That is all. 🙂

After a few emails back and forth, we switched to texting:

Hi Abby! Yes, let’s meet up. I’ll be coming into Penn Station, [odd, since his profile says he’s in New York, NY]  but I could come down to the East Village. Are there any restaurants you fancy? I could find one, though I’m not the NYC native!)

There are so many! Do you have a preference? Atmosphere? Cuisine? Gimme a ballpark idea and I’ll pick a place!

Well, I do rather like Thai and Indian food, if I have to choose (although I’m not picky). On the other hand, a nice dimly lit romantic restaurant would be nice ; )

I prefer Thai. [Notice how I sidestepped the whole “romantic restaurant” thing? Why encourage it?] There are a bunch! Cafetasia on Avenue A between 5th & 6th has a nice atmosphere.

That could work, although, for a rather silly reason, I might prefer somewhere else. (A few of my friends live at 6th and Avenue A so I’m sort of paranoid of seeing them on our date!)

Yeah okay well on second thought? Nevermind.

On second thought what?

On second thought, no thank you. Not interested.

Um, okay….

Clearly he had NO idea why I blew him off. Sheesh, kids! So I sent him an email to let him know and perhaps help him avoid offending other “older women”:

Just an FYI: In the future, when you’re attempting to “charm” an “older woman,” you might not want to mention that you don’t want to be seen with her.
Just sayin’.

Can you believe it was actually necessary for me to point out why his innocent remark might’ve been so hurtful? What was I thinking, making a date to meet someone less than half my age? I had no delusions about the possibility of a relationship and absolutely no intention of sleeping with the guy. Ever. I don’t want to be anyone’s punch line! Was I only going out of sheer curiosity? Or for the free meal? I don’t even know. But I probably won’t be too eager to make another date with anyone quite so young. Sigh…