Misled. Or Left Out.

Have you seen those ads for OurTime.com? The ones with the sappy, smitten senior citizens? Not another dating site, right? Especially one for oldsters! Well, it isn’t another dating site. It is, actually, SeniorPeopleMeet.com. This may be a better-looking home page with a slightly more attractive logo but once “inside,” it’s the exact same mausoleum of Santa fossils and embarrassing “Flirts.” Ack! In the fine print, it says “OurTime.com is part of People Media’s OurTime Community, which includes SeniorPeopleMeet.com and SeniorsMeet.com. As a member of OurTime, your profile will automatically be shown throughout the OurTime Community at no additional charge.” Woo-hoo! Too bad that doesn’t mean double the old dudes. It also tells you that they’re part of People Media, which includes Match.com, Chemistry.com, BlackPeopleMeet.com, LoveAndSeek.com and BabyBoomerPeopleMeet.com. Wow. That’s a lotta single people.

They’ve obviously blown quite a wad on that commercial, though, because it’s as slick as a Viagra ad. And it has the “look”of a spot for an expensive car or designer clothes. Unfortunately, the people who actually use the site are mostly dumpy, functional illiterate Luddites as opposed to sexy, savvy, stylish Ivy Leaguers. Perhaps there should be a more selective senior dating site.

Which leads me to Obliterati, an event I’m planning to attend this Thursday. Produced by my friend Nick, this “monthly event, held in NYC focused on new connections and networking between social circles in various media scenes” is where I met the folks behind NearSay.com. So when I saw the Facebook invite for the upcoming party, with its sparkly disco ball design and sponsorship by a new dating site, I was excited. Then I looked a little closer. Sparkology.com describes itself as “the invite-only, luxury online dating experience for young professionals.” Their home page copy promises Quality, Exclusivity, and Selectivity. Membership is by Invite Only. All Sparkology men are verified grads of top universities. So our women interact only with qualified men… while men message women who value their successful drive. Stop wasting time with the riff raff. Luxury? What the fuck? I was offended. On so many fronts! First of all, “young professionals” don’t need help finding dates! All they need to do is leave the house! But beyond age, since when does being a “verified grad” of a “top university” mean you’re a great guy? And, hello, what about the women? Do they have to be college graduates? Or can they just be models? Who does this “selectivity” benefit? Anyway, suffice it to say I won’t be putting a profile up on Sparkology!

Yet the revulsion I felt about their snooty exclusivity is exactly what I wish someone would institute for a seniors’ site. At least some sort of screening would sure be nice. Like can you spell? Speak English? Some of Sparkology’s policies sound smart: Men pay to start a conversation. Men who copy/paste the same message to every girl they see get penalized while men who send genuine messages get rewarded. Let the good guys win! And their appreciation of manners is also a big plus: Evolved. Chivalry is not dead. Be proud of being a gentleman. I sure wish that message had gotten through to the guy who sent me “I’d fuck you LOL”.

I’ve always been wary of snobbery. I understand the appeal of being “accepted” yet bristle at having to prove myself. Do I want to belong to a club that would have me as a member? Maybe I’ll chat up the Sparkology folks and convince them they need to start a site that will screen my senior suitors! I’ll let ya know.

Day 9, January 19
1. 20 minutes of meditating while lying in bed even before I got up again. This time I didn’t even set my clock…and wound up checking it after exactly 20 minutes. I think I need to be a bit more focused, though…
2. 30 minutes of working out.
3. Blogging/writing, yesterday’s “Flow.”
4. Oh yeah, there was some serious droning in the background, but I only really paid attention to the weather resport.
5. I stared at the latest box.
6. Socializing: 2 hours at dinner followed by my full 8-hour shift at the bar!

Day 10, January 20
1. No meditating.
2. 90 minutes of working out.
3. No blogging or writing.
4. I don’t think I was home much, so no TV.
5. I stared at the latest box. Again. And brought up another one.
6. Socializing: 3 hours on a date followed by an hour at Mr. LES and then chatting till 4:30am with friends in my apartment.

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2 responses to “Misled. Or Left Out.

  1. Rocco Privetera

    I get the hate of the obvious copy/paste message, but remember: the challenges of dating run the opposite gamut for men regarding online dating. With women (as you’ve discovered), online the challenge is lots of chaff and losers, not enough quality. Men have the reverse problem with quantity: very fun women, very few real ads (a lot of fakes put up to get men to come to the site), very few responses. OKCupid had a “should you use a paid dating site” blog post that runs the numbers on match, and as a match user I can attest: probably 2/3’rds of the match profiles are fake. Even the okcupid ones (where they screen better) you simply get no responses from 99% of the women you message. So guys adopt the shotgun method just to see if somebody is actually out there.

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