In my moments of boredom — between Facebook and emails and web sudoku — I was taking a few of the wacky tests on OkCupid. There are hundreds of them and they’re pretty amusing. I took one years ago; there was a link to it on the Burning Man list and we all posted our results. It was the “How Much of a Slut Are You?” test and I was a 75% slut. The Whiskey & Whores band wrote a song with that title and dedicated it to me at a Decom! I digress…
Of the tests I took in my latest lapse of boredom, only one was was fairly deep and thought-provoking. The rest were pretty shallow. They were all surprisingly accurate. See what you think!
Your result for The What Kind of Girl are You Test …
The Liberal Beauty
You scored 71 looks, 78 personality, 27 politics, and 83 sex drive!
You’re beautiful, you have a great personality, and you’re highly sexual. You’re a liberal with your views and you don’t put morals before everything. You’re probably a great wife or girlfriend, and you know how to make sure that the ones you love are happy. You’re probably fun in a conversation and I’m sure that you are as loveable as you are beautiful.
How can I argue with any of that? I am as, indeed, all those things! Or have been. Since I’m currently not a wife or a girlfriend. But I hope to be soon!
Okay, that was a shallow one.
Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test …
8 – the Asserter
Thanks for taking the test !
you chose AY – your Enneagram type is EIGHT (aka “The Challenger”).
“I must be strong”
Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.
How to Get Along with Me
• Stand up for yourself… and me.
• Be confident, strong, and direct.
• Don’t gossip about me or betray my trust.
• Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
• Give me space to be alone.
• Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don’t flatter me.
• I often speak in an assertive way. Don’t automatically assume it’s a personal attack.
• When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that’s just the way I am.
What I Like About Being a EIGHT
• being independent and self-reliant
• being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
• being courageous, straightforward, and honest
• getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
• supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
• upholding just causes
What’s Hard About Being a EIGHT
• overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don’t intend to
• being restless and impatient with others’ incompetence
• sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
• never forgetting injuries or injustices
• putting too much pressure on myself
• getting high blood pressure when people don’t obey the rules or when things don’t go right
EIGHTs as Children Often
• are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
• are sometimes loners
• seize control so they won’t be controlled
• figure out others’ weaknesses
• attack verbally or physically when provoked
• take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings
Okay, so, yeah. That was the deep one. Again, I don’t think I can argue with any of these conclusions. I mean…I am constantly overwhelming people with my bluntness. The offered how an “EIGHT” would be as a parent, but there’s no need for me to know since that won’t be happening. Eery, though, no?
I took “The Horrifying Stereotype Test” and was deemed a “Sports Dick.” Hmm… It appeared that that result was the default if you’re white and neither overly WASPy or a total hillbilly. And when I took “The Would You Have Been a Nazi Test,” my results were that I would’ve been an average German: I would’ve missed my Jewish friends and the local bagel shop but I wouldn’t have done much to fight the regime. I’d like to think that isn’t true. I also took “The Why Are You Single Test” were that I am “The Date-er.” There wasn’t much elaboration along with the results, just a question: “Sick of dating, eh?” Um, yes. I’d better find someone soon cause these tests are stupid. And I’m done with the boredom!