So I’ve been obsessively watching my blog stats and it appears to me that happier posts don’t do nearly as well as depressing ones. WTF, people? Would you rather feel my pain than celebrate my happiness?
Well, okay then!
In today’s news, I made my profile active again on OkCupid, mostly to get back in touch with the somewhat irritating guy in South Dakota. While he made many assumptions about me that rubbed me the wrong way, our conversation was interesting. When I logged off of the site he resorted to commenting on my blog; I didn’t approve the comments because they were, essentially, attempts at reaching me, not really comments. It seemed to me that he felt snubbed; we’ll see if he gets back in touch. In the meantime, I have another one of my clickety-click OCD hobbies back again.
I also joined ChristianMingle.com. I KNOW! I figured that would make for really interesting blog fodder! But alas, their “join free now” was merely that: free to sign up. If you want to actually read your emails (or do anything else on the site), you need to pay. Is that how Jesus would market? I say, fuck that, ChristianMingle! I’m gonna go check out J-Date! Hmm, maybe I need to invest a few bucks in both so I can truly experience the full selection of dating sites! In the interest of journalistic integrity and whatnot, that is…
I’m also working on a week’s “sex diary” for New York Magazine’s Daily Intel. I will warn you now, there won’t be any actual sex in it. It will be depressing as hell. I can’t wait to see the comments! They’re usually arguments about whether a “handjob” is an acceptable sex act “in this day and age.” Um, sex is sex. And I ain’t havin’ any. Mine will probably be the first in ages that features absolutely zero penetration. Sigh. The editor is excited about having a submission from someone who isn’t a 20- or 30-something, so that’s a plus. The minus being that 50-somethings simply don’t get laid as often. At least single 50-somethings… Gack.
Now if only I was into the really young guys! Cause yeah, exactly — DING! — 10 minutes after getting back onto OkCupid, a 24-year-old dude says, “Hey. You seem like a fun woman. How bout a fun young boytoy to play with?” I’m sorry, I do not want to be the punch line at your next beer puke fest! I’m cool with younger, but not that much younger! Go satisfy your mommy fantasies somewhere else, ya whippersnapper! Sheesh! My response? “I AM a fun woman!
But sorry, no thanks! I like younger, but not THAT much younger!
And please don’t email me back and tell me how I don’t know what I’m missing or that “age is just a number.” Thanks!
I’ll admit that my ego enjoys the attention on these sites, even if there’s no hope of ever connecting with any of the men. And my ego can use all the help it can get! Recently I was told I was “hot” and “sexy” by not one but two men. I don’t know why but it’s difficult for me to take in — and take seriously. I haven’t been feeling too terribly fetching lately. But that’ll hopefully change once I’m tanned and taut out in the desert sun, toting 2x2s and street signs around Black Rock City!
Okay, enough for today. Let’s see if ending on a hopeful note puts the kibosh on high stats! Hah!