As I was bloggedy-blogging away about dick pix on Ashley Madison, right in the middle of my writing I checked my inbox and a somewhat homely gentleman whose advances I had gently turned down was making his last “stab” at wooing me. Here’s how our conversation went:
“Umm, as charming and convincing as that come-on is, I have to ask for a bit more. Like maybe your name. And your phone number. And maybe why I should call you.”
“Sorry LOL You can email me at XXXX or call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. My name is XXX. I think we’d have fun.”
Could you perhaps email me a photo, so I know who I’m communicating with?”
“There are pix of me on there.”
Me (after looking at his photos):
“Um, okay, thank you…but I don’t feel suitably inspired. Best of luck to you!”
“You need to be inspired? hmmm…I have a webcam…I think I can inspire you…I look MUCH better than pics…and I have certain qualities I’m confident you wouldn’t dislike too often…so..you just never know…”
“If you’re saying you have a huge cock, I’m currently blogging about how pathetic that is. It means nothing.
Seriously. Get a grip.
I am inspired by a lot of things. A hard-on isn’t one of them.”
“Sometimes the Italian language is inspiring. Get your mind out of the gutter. LOL”
When I didn’t respond immediately, he volleyed back with:
“You’re 51? I’m not inspired…forget it….LOLOL Yup…too old….(doesn’t it feel so nice when someone judges you based on one factor?)….very nice….luv it”
And my retort:
“Hahahahah! You are HILARIOUS! Didn’t you see how old I was before you emailed me? Or do you just email everyone and hope for the best?
Unfortunately I can’t figure out how to block people on the damn site. Bah! I was sure he’d been sufficiently blown off, but NOOOOO! He couldn’t keep quiet. He had to add this gem:
“No sense of humor? I was teasing…see…true colors come out… I could have said OLD, fat and ugly but I didn’t…lol
Too bad you take yourself SO seriously….
Let’s see if he feels compelled to keep contacting me…