Yes, I have a strange life. I travel all the time but want to be in one place. I say I want a job but I don’t know how I’d fit one in! I manage to live on almost nothing and make it look damn glamorous. Many people I know say they envy me, that I’m “livin’ the dream.” I can’t say that I disagree! Though it would be nice if my glamorous life were just a bit more profitable.
In keeping with my usual weirdness, I had a cleaning person at my apartment this afternoon. You might wonder how I can afford a cleaning person, being broke and all. Well, I didn’t pay this cleaning person. He did it all for free. And dressed in nothing but a pair of lacy magenta panties.
He wasn’t bad looking, not exactly fit ‘n’ trim but not a total slob, either. I can’t say the bikini panties were the most flattering choice but I’m sure they make him happy! His back was hairy, which is always a bummer, but he wasn’t overly hirsute elsewhere. He had a pleasant demeanor and engaged in small talk, not the usual silent, slavey sort.
His first task was to chuck my Christmas tree out the window. I know, weird. But there’s a pile just below that looked destined for the city’s mulch project and it made more sense to toss it out the window than drag it through the hallway, trailing pine needles the whole way. He swept up the mess and started on the kitchen, washing my dishes and mopping my floor. Then I had him tackle the bathroom, scrubbing those floors, as well as the toilet. “Better you than me,” I cracked as I walked by the bathroom and saw him bent over the commode.
I had to keep him busy until 8:00 because his next gig was with a girl who wouldn’t be home til then. I’ve become almost obsessively neat so I didn’t have much more work for the guy! I was already having him clean things that weren’t all that dirty. I had him sweep and clean the living room and hallway floors but it still wasn’t 8:00! I sent him out to pick up some dog food for the girl he was going to next, just to stall, and he said he’d get himself some dinner as well.
When he returned I packed up the little puppy that he was to deliver to his next appointment and showed him to the door. He did a great job but I have a feeling I didn’t offer him as much ridicule and humiliation as he’s ordinarily subjected to; I just didn’t have it in me. Maybe I’m just not as weird as I used to be.