Okay, I’m just gonna say it: I’m a lookist. AND an ageist. That’s right. I do, indeed, care how guys look. AND how old they are.
I realize that makes me somehow inherently evil. And a bit of a hypocrite, since I’m not necessarily “all that” and I sure as hell am no longer young. But man! This online dating thing has me full-on horrified! I see guys with grey hair and immediately think, “Who is that grandpa?” Then I look at their ages and they’re, like, maybe four years older than me. Four years isn’t much of an age spread but, for me, perhaps, it is if the spread is upwards from mine!
Ya see, I’ve never really dated anyone older than me. Okay, so my high school boyfriend was older by a mere two years, but that was mostly cause, well, he had a driver’s license and I didn’t. Anyway, you understand the appeal of an “older man” if it means being mobile. Especially in California!
Other than that, all my men have been younger, most recently by 12 years. Being with someone older than me is pretty much out of the question. In fact, even the idea of a man my own age doesn’t appeal to me! I don’t think I look my age and I certainly don’t ACT my age! So I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want someone who doesn’t look like an old man! Is it?
And then there’s the looks thing. I am not demanding model good looks but there’s no reason I should be dating a dog. Right? I take good care of myself and work out a lot to stay in (reasonably good) shape. I manage to put on clothes that fit and are somewhat stylish. I have not succumbed to shlubbishness, unless you catch me in my gym gear. The man beside me should be equally as presentable.
Not to keep harping on the whole online dating thing but, for some reason, if I do my “search” in San Francisco as opposed to NYC, the computer matches me with much more handsome men. Does this mean that guys in New York are less attractive? Do California guys take better care of themselves? They apparently have better health plans cause, lemme tell ya, they have MUCH better teeth!
I dunno. I made a list, back when I was trying to “manifest” the man of my dreams, and it included some very stark specifics. I hate to narrow my search because, of course, my dream man might, quite possibly, not have blue eyes or be a full foot taller than me. I don’t believe in scaring off prospective suitors based on meaningless statistics. But for the sake of argument, I’ll let you in on my list. If you’re out there, Mr. Man of My Dreams, be sure to drop me a line!
I want a man who:
I have great sex with and great sexual chemistry with!
is tall…taller than me!
can — and will — give great massages.
loves his work.
likes to dress up.
can be faithful.
is a great kisser.
will grow old with me.
loves my friends and my family.
will cherish me.
enjoys puzzles and games.
will make me laugh.
is both physically and emotionally healthy and strong.
I want a man with:
great teeth and great hair.
a great job and enough money to keep us both happy.
Am I asking too much? Maybe. But I’ll never get what I want if I don’t even ask for it!