Oh, Yeah, Write…

Rather than go another week to wrap up my month’s goals, I’m going to reset those goals. Without much effort, I’ve managed to meditate and work out almost every day. TV? I’m not sure it matters. Socializing? Seems silly to even mention it. When I need it, I seek it out. I’m stronger and more sane than, well, probably than I’ve ever been. The process of reestablishing myself in my apartment has been ongoing and won’t be complete for a while. I’ve been weighing the sense of hanging onto so many costumes and will continue to until I figure out what to do with them, since the locker they’re in is crammed full of more than clothing.

What I haven’t been very successful with these past three weeks is writing. Well, beyond the blogging. I still need to finish entering and proofreading the erotica for my “collected works” book. Once that’s done I feel like I’ll be more able to move on. So instead of blogging my blah-di-blah on here every day, I’m going to start posting the aforementioned “collected works.” Every day I’ll plunk a new piece of erotic fiction online, which will obviously entail the proofreading, until my entire book is “live.” Then all I’ll need to do is transfer it all to a self-publishing site.

I’ll be starting tomorrow. I hope you join me on my little trip down memory lane!

Progress. Ish.

I have a week to go till I reach the 30-day point of my “process.” I can’t say I’ve made much progress. I haven’t gotten any further on any of my book projects. I still watch too much terrible TV. I did empty out a storage locker, which was a bigger accomplishment than it sounds. And I have been meditating more than not, so there’s that. It hasn’t transformed me into a Zen master, by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s certainly helped. I won’t declare my “socializing” to be a success because it is second nature. And working out? Even though I’m in the gym every day, my pants still feel tight. I guess it’s that time of year…

A secondary goal that I never even mentioned was getting through 30 days without buying any clothes or crap. I’ve managed to control my impulses for the past three weeks and anticipate I’ll be able to make it one more. There’s a party coming up on the 11th that will require some creative costuming but I believe I can throw something together.

So why don’t I feel more victorious? I get that it’s winter, when the doldrums make sense. I set achievable goals in order to experience a sense of satisfaction. I swear, I felt more triumphant after a month of no pants! I think I’m going to cut this 30-day thing short and refocus my goals. They’ll include: accomplish more, blog less!

Day 21, January 31
1. No meditating.
2. 30 minutes of working out.
3. Blogged.
4. Lotsa TV droning in the background.
5. Handed over the key to Locker 39, which will be saving me about $30 a month. I just need to put away — or throw away — all the stuff that’s sitting around.
6. Socializing: Met Jamye to see a taping of The Revolultion. Kaspur came by.

Day 22, February 1
1. 30 minutes of meditating. Yes, it was in bed, but I was sitting up. More comfortable than sitting on the floor and not lying down, trying to fall back asleep. The extra 10 minutes was ’cause I didn’t set my alarm right.
2. 90 minutes of working out.
3. Blogged
4. The View. Nothing else…
5. I consolidated two boxes of fanzine and magazine material into one. And wound up with a stack of fanzines and magazines on my living room floor. Then I packed a box of crap to take to happy hour and got too frustrated with it all. So there are still…boxes of stuff.
6. Socializing: Went to happy hour at 5:30 and got home at midnight. I even made out a little bit. With a VERY young man! Woo-hoo!

Day 23, February 2
1. 20 minutes of meditating.
2. 30 minutes of working out.
3. Blogged about the nutjob sending me endless texts. And the other lunatic actually expecting me to find him at a museum. KOO-KOO!
4. The View. And my game shows.
5. Stared at the stacks of shit. Sigh.
6. Socializing: Oh, whatEVAR!

Social Distractions

Only three days into this exercise (I’m back bloggin’, here) I realized that my life pretty much already had this structure. I do like the idea of challenging myself, though, so I may be adding things to my list of “tasks.” Without even having to list it, socializing is integral to my life. It’s also one of my biggest time-wasters. Day 1′s distraction was provided by Kaspur, Nick, Tania and her friends. That was a full four hours (between them all) of entertaining. Ya know, I used to get paid to socialize! Ah, those were the days… Anyway.

Day 2: January 12

1. 20 minutes of meditating

2. 45 minutes of working out

3. Only blogging…but it WAS yesterday’s “Routine vs. Regimen,” so…

4. Successfully restricted myself to only HALF of my “TV Diet!”

5. Brought up and unpacked two boxes, one of which contained a whole lot of weep-inducing shit. Nothing like love letters from people who no longer love you…or cards from people who are dead. Needless to say, that took much longer than it should have.

6. Socializing: 4 hours of grabbing free pizza at Two Boots followed by too many beers (and Ass Juice shots!) at Double Down.

Another fine day! (Fuck it. I’m gonna be chirpy!)

Routine vs. Regimen

rou•tine [roo-teen]
noun
1. a customary or regular course of procedure.
2. commonplace tasks, chores, or duties as must be done regularly or at specified intervals; typical or everyday activity: the routine of an office.
3. regular, unvarying, habitual, unimaginative, or rote procedure.

reg•i•men

[rej-uh-muhn, -men, rezh-]

noun

1. Medicine/Medical: a regulated course, as of diet, exercise, or manner of living, intended to preserve or restore health orto attain some result.
2. a systematic plan (as of diet, therapy, or medication) especially when designed to improve and maintain the health of a patient.

I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions but after spending midnight meditating I realized that I need to make some changes. I could definitely use more peace in my life — specifically, stillness — and I need to be more productive. I brought home my little Poodle, Scribble, after Playa Restoration not only because I missed animal companionship; I felt the need for responsibility. I wanted to be responsible for something. My life is so unconventional — you know, with all this “living’ the dream” freedom and such — I long for structure. My work for Burning Man provides it, but only for three months out of the year. We get up every morning for a 7am meeting, have breakfast and do our jobs. It’s almost as disciplined as the military. Once that work ends I find myself yearning for more routine, more…regimentation.

So I decided, in my moment or two of “Zen,” that I would give my life a bit more structure. I hate the sound of the word “routine” — I mean, unimaginative? — and “regimen”; they both conjure boredom and drudgery. I’m sorry to say that all this motherfucking freedom has resulted in far more boredom and, yes, drudgery than those 90 days of 7am meetings. I would even welcome a job, not only for the early rising and all that shit but to have a reason to wear something other than pajamas and gym clothes. But I digress.

In order to give my life structure I came up with a “routine” or a “regimen,” if you will. My month of “no pants” felt like an achievement, if only of something as insignificant as not wearing pants. I had maintained focus. For one full month. What can I focus on and manage to maintain throughout the year?

I need to make living my life more like a job. So I came up with specific “tasks” to complete on a daily basis, just as I would have if I went into an office every day. Well, almost. The obvious difference being that no one’s paying me. Also none of my tasks are too terribly…strenuous. But at least they may give me some sense of accomplishment.

Here is my list of daily tasks:

1. Meditate: I want to start with 20 minutes each morning, advance to 30 minutes and ideally shoot for 30 minutes in the morning and evening.
2. Exercise: I already work out pretty much every other day. I’d like to make that every day or at least five out of seven. Add in daily sun salutations, in keeping with my, you know, move toward spirituality and enlightenment and shit. Hah!

3. Writing: I ‘d like this to mean a bit more than mere blogging because all my goddamn navel gazing ain’t gettin’ me anywhere. I have so many ideas for projects and make absolutely no progress on them because I am so easily distracted. I can literally waste an entire day playing Sudoku and Scrabble. Must. Restrain. Myself.

4. Watch less TV: I don’t really watch TV, necessarily, I often just listen to it. Mediocre network programming drones in the background while I (unsuccessfully) attempt to focus. This has gotta stop. Realistically, that means limiting myself to my usual two hours of “The View,” “Jeopardy” and “Wheel of Fortune.” Throw in a crime show now and then and I should be okay.

5. Home maintenance: Aside from ordinary daily upkeep, I still haven’t unpacked all the crap that I put into storage. I’d like to divest myself of more crap, get rid of my extra storage space (do I really need TWO?!) and complete the process of moving “back into” my apartment.

I realize that these aren’t exactly the loftiest of goals. I don’t want to set myself up for failure. And I know there will be things that get in the way, especially socializing. Manhattan offers so many ways to keep busy and I take advantage of them all! Last night I wound up with friends here for a few hours that should’ve been spent writing. Ah, the best laid plans…

Anyway, I will blog about my progress, which will no doubt prove to be stultifyingly dull. Bear with my boring drudgery! Or skip over it. Don’t despair; I plan to continue blogging about all my other, usual things. But hopefully, something good will come of my self control.

Day 1: January 11

1. 20 minutes of meditating

2. 90 minutes working out

3. Only blogging…

4. Successfully restricted myself to my “TV Diet.”

5. Took down the Christmas tree, swept most of the apartment, did two loads of laundry.

A fine day! (Okay, I’ll try not to be tooooo chirpy!)

No Pants December: Day 31 and Observations

For the last day of 2011 and my final day of No Pants December, I went for casual instead of fancy. I was headed to a meditation celebration at a hippy-dippy place in Marin and figured I’d be sitting on the floor. They actually had chairs, so I could’ve worn something slightly less loungey but I was happy to be comfortable. I wore my knit patterned tights and black ballet flats with my black go-to skirt. My only nod to the holiday was a sparkly turtleneck I picked up at a thrift shop a year or two ago. I had a blazer that looked almost exactly like this in the ’70s! This was probably the most conservative and low-key ensemble I’ve ever sported on a New Year’s Eve. Tomorrow, it’s pants!

My observations after a month of wearing skirts, dresses and — just a few times — fancy short shorts:
• It’s easier to put on a few pounds wearing looser garments.
• I often felt frumpier in my skirts than I do when I wear pants.
• People seem to think you’re more dressed up in a skirt, even if it’s as easy as putting on sweatpants or pajamas!
• I was just as lazy wearing skirts and dresses as I am when I wear jeans or pants. I pick up what’s lying on the floor (or more accurately, nicely folded or hung up) and go. I tend to go with easy either way.
• My style is decidedly “Grranimals”: black top or bottom paired with a colored top or bottom. If I’m feeling adventurous, perhaps a pattern! I’m just not all that creative when it comes to everyday dressing.
• I tend to only really pay attention to what I’m wearing if I’m going to a party. If it isn’t festive — or a costume — I’m a big ol’ fashion yawn!
• I was doing this No Pants December experiment in support of my friend Amber and her NO PANTS 2011 project. She has WAY more skirts than I do! And they’re all really interesting skirts. I discovered that most of my non-pants wardrobe is…costumery. And I don’t mean costumery in the “fun” or “frivolous” or even “creative” sense of the word. I mean full-on costumes: tutus or otherwise tulle, too short or too tight, blindingly silver or too-shiny latex, too-sexy see-through, and all manner of totally inappropriate for even the most impractical everyday wear.
• Wearing only skirts or dresses reminded me of elementary school, when we weren’t allowed to wear pants. (Yes I know, it was the dark ages!)
• Doing this would’ve been way easier in the summer!

I may add more to this as additional thoughts arise. For now I leave you with my friend Amber’s NO PANTS blog, where she decided to start the new year in a skirt. Keep up with her to see if she keeps her promise to go through 2012 wearing only pants she’s made herself. My bet is both that she’ll succeed at sporting her own creations and set a few new style trends!