A Week, Lost; A Friend, Lost; A Coastline, Lost

I’ve been avoiding my computer, suffering from a strange anxiety. I got home three weeks ago and this past one was pretty much a total wash. Hurricane Sandy blew into town and I worked through the whole storm, from noon till 3am, eventually bartending by candlelight to a motley group of neighborhood folks who’d never been to the bar before. It was magical.

Since my power was out, I spent the next afternoon in the bar as well, drinking till midnight, then bumbling home by flashlight. On Wednesday I ventured uptown to recharge my phone, call my mom and have a meal. I also found out only the littlest bit about what was going on in the tri-state area. I walked back downtown into the darkness, fetched my pirate coat from a blacked out basement and got into costume. Even Scribble dressed up!

Photo by David Watts Barton

The poodle and I stopped by the Double Down, found Decibel and walked crosstown to Spring and Sixth Ave., where about 100+ costumed revelers had assembled for a renegade parade. The Hungry March Band was among them and they led the festive crew through the darkened streets of the West Village. When it appeared as though the marchers might be headed uptown into the light, I broke off from the pack with a few others and cabbed back to my ‘hood.

At Double Down there were already a few dozen blinky burners eager for an East Village bar crawl, so we strolled through the moonlit streets to 7B, Manitoba’s, Doc Holliday’s and back to Double Down. It was the spookiest, most special Halloween ever!

By Thursday I was suffering from a three-day hangover, still without power and pretty done with it all so I took a bus uptown and a cab across the river to take refuge at Pinky’s. A hot shower and Thai food was just the ticket! By the following afternoon I felt ready to return and the two of us were lucky enough to get a ride right to my door. When we were in the car at Second Ave. and 14th St. I noticed, “Hey! That traffic light is on. Wait! ALL the lights are on!” So our timing was perfect; I arrived home to hear the heat kicking in and watch the real horrorshow on TV.

Pinky and I forged on, however, cobbling our costumes together, then cabbing into midtown for Kostume Kult’s postponed Halloween party, which had been relocated to Times Scare. So fun! And a welcome change from the cold and dark. Sadly so many people still aren’t as lucky. There are hundreds of ways to help but it will take quite some time to rebuild the areas damaged by the storm and get things back to “normal.” There’s really not much need for me to rehash the news of how much of our coastline is lost.

I spent the weekend obsessively cleaning my apartment. It’s been since…well, probably since June. It was the only thing I could manage. I was barely able to leave my building; I felt agoraphobic. So my home is now immaculate. Yet I wanted very much to assist those less fortunate. Yesterday I jumped at the opportunity for a ride to Staten Island, hoping to help out. Instead I wound up on a day-long drive, picking people up, passing devastated homes and turned away from overstocked collection points. It was great, I guess, to witness so much abundance but I had wanted to get OUT of the truck and shovel sand or something. Instead we wound up donating our truckload of supplies to a senior/homeless shelter. Certainly not a bad thing but also not my intention. Had I known that we were only going to drop off donations, as opposed to working, I would’ve tried another tact. It wouldn’t have taken five people to unload the truck…

This morning I woke up ready for a fresh start. But I was still digesting last night’s shocking news that an old friend, Erocktica’s Pink Snow, had died of a heart attack. I remain in disbelief: a young woman — and new mother — in apparently perfect health. How does this happen? I am just stunned. Erocktica was Mondo Porno’s “house band” and really made the events memorable, from San Francisco to Boston to Vegas. She had bowed out of the rock band and nightlife world to go back to school and start a family. I cannot believe her dreams have been cut short.

Wow. Just wow. So. Much. Loss.

Overbooked

Ack!

I can’t believe I’ll be leaving for the desert in just over a month! There doesn’t seem to be a spare moment between now and then! I was planning on using this blog to jettison much of my costumery and clutter but I don’t think I’ll have time to photograph and post it all! I will try and use Party Costume Exchange on Facebook, so keep an eye out for fun stuff there!

I have one week till I leave for Vegas, where I’ll be wrangling balloons again for Balloon Chain at Electric Daisy Carnival. Between now and then I’ll be working at the bar, taking a two-day seminar — “Going All the Way: Sex and Money Intensive” – with Amy Jo Goddard, attending the “Meet & Beat” for The New York Fetish Marathon Thursday night and emceeing for the HOWL! Festival finale, The Jackie Factory presents’ “Low Life 6: East Village Others” on Sunday. Whew! Guess it’s a good thing I’ve given up dating!

Somewhere in there I’d like to have a clothing swap, do Pink Drinks at Sidewalk and, well, you know, pack! There’s 4th of July in there (come visit me at Double Down!) and a trip out to the Hamptons to hang with my family. Oh! And The Mermaid Parade! I have a feeling I won’t be blogging much. But maybe this year I’ll do a bit more of it from out in the desert. Though it’s very difficult to focus on a computer screen after eight hours in the sun…

The ideal situation would be if I could just think the things I want to write here and have it all magically transmitted into type. Sigh. I’m sure we’ll have that technology any moment now. Which will be awesome because that would make it super easy to write my memoir! Anyway, keep an eye on my Facebook page for more up-to-date info, since it’s so easy to just zap a photo there. (Shakes fist at Mark Zuckerberg.) Anyway, stay tuned!

Cunty

I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t been keeping up with my bloggage. However, what little I have had time to post has generated interest…and outrage. Okay, perhaps outrage is an exaggeration. But when I’m busy I don’t spend hours mulling over my responses. I just dash off what initially comes to mind. Which often comes out sounding cunty. It could be said that I am cunty; I do, after all, have the word CUNT tattooed right on my body. Hey, truth in advertising! However, to those who know me, they get my cuntiness right along with my kindness. I can be both, as can most women. It is so very difficult to convey kindness through the ether—or the printed word—as is the conveyance of many emotions.

I’m exhausted. I am over dating people who are so terribly mismatched with me—and me with them. I don’t want to give up, though. Should I? I’m happy to be bartending so I can meet men in what I consider to be my natural habitat, especially while making money instead of spending it. And while they’re drinking and I’m not! I’ve been saying for a while now that meeting guys in bars has been my MO for so many years that it’s really the only process that makes sense to me!

So yeah, the sassy, snarky, cunty responses and the cunty part of my personality that’s been (unfortunately) emerging on many of my recent dates may, indeed, be a valid facet of who I am. Thankfully when I’m behind the bar, my happy and helpful side is what’s shown. Which means if you want to meet the most sincere me, you’ll have to come visit. And order up an Ass Juice! WOOT!

You can find me at Double Down Saloon, 14 Avenue A, Wednesdays and Saturdays from noon till 8pm. And yes, this is a bit of shameless self-promotion. It’s also an open invitation to all my friends, fans and foes to come stalk me or say hello. While you’re free to come and go as you please, I am, quite literally, trapped behind the bar!